“Masculinity is not about being the biggest, the fastest, the strongest, the one who sleeps with the most girls, and the one who has the most money. The one who has the most accomplishments is not the most masculine. In fact, it is often the men who covet these things most who are covering and compensating for the greatest insecurities. Let us revere the one who loves others deeply, loves himself deeply, and has a dream that he is inspired to live with and by and through. He is a man.” ~ Lewis Howes
You know, I have been thinking quite a lot lately about what it means to be a Man. As someone who has had her own share of drama and trauma when it comes to men, I have reached a point in my life where I no longer want to think that most men are corrupted and can’t be trusted.
I’m over that!
I played that role. It was horrible. It lasted as long as it did. But I am now ready and willing to move on and think of the good in men and allow it to be part of my life. And what better way to do this than to learn from those men who have learned how to embrace their masculinity and become the embodiment of a Man.
15 Traits to Help Men Embrace Their Masculinity and Become the Embodiment of a Man
What I will share with you below is a list of things taken from Lewis Howes’s book, The Mask of Masculinity: How Men Can Embrace Vulnerability, Create Strong Relationships, and Live Their Fullest Lives. These words have the power to bring light to the darkness so many of us are in when it comes to men and masculinity. And help men embrace their masculinity so they can become the embodiment of a Man.
1. “He does not stand unmoved or untouched in the face of truly moving experiences.”
2. “He does not judge the totality of his life or anyone else’s life by the totals on the scoreboard as the clock ticks down to zero.”
3. “He does not use money as a proxy for emotional connection nor material possessions as the measure of his self-worth.”
4. “He does not define his manhood by the number of women he has conquered.”
5. “He does not always fight fire with fire; sometimes he doesn’t need to fight at all.”
6. “He does not meet seriousness with silliness when it is seriousness that is required.”
7. “He does not take risks for risks’ sake, because he does not hide from his frailty, his mortality, or his humanity.”
8. “He does not pretend to know everything about anything, nor is he afraid to admit when he knows nothing about something.”
9. “And perhaps most important of all, he does not walk around thinking he’s The Man.”
10. “No, the masculine man goes through a journey, a process of self-discovery, and figures out what he needs to do to acquire the tools, knowledge, wisdom, grace, love, passion, and joy to pursue his destiny.
His destiny is his dreams.
Those may evolve over time, but in their pursuit, he is not breaking down anyone else or hurting anyone else. He is not at war with other people, conquering them.”
11. “He is the one joining forces, searching for the win-win.”
12. “He is the one who is lifting others up, inspiring others through his journey and his own process (in which he is finding ways to create value along the way.”
13. “He is the hero of his own journey. And in so being, he is looking for every way to have the best relationships possible with his family, friends, his romantic partner, his colleagues, or his customers.”
14. “He’s finding ways to be the best possible version of himself.”
15. “Masculinity is about discovering yourself and owning what you find. It’s about being kind to others, and pursuing your dreams with all the passion and energy you can muster. It’s about doing something that is meaningful to you that brings value to others. That’s how you build a legacy.” ~ Lewis Howes, The Mask of Masculinity: How Men Can Embrace Vulnerability, Create Strong Relationships, and Live Their Fullest
And these are the 15 traits meant to help men embrace their masculinity and become the embodiment of a Man. In my humble opinion, becoming aware of these traits can add value, not only to a man’s life, but to a woman as well. Once you know what a Man is, you will be less likely to tolerate the behavior of men who haven’t yet stepped into their masculinity… you will be less likely to settle for the unhealthy behavior of those men who haven’t yet become the embodiment of a Man.