“A man’s spirit is free, but his pride binds him with chains of suffocation in a prison of his own insecurities” ~ Jeremy Aldana
It’s okay to have insecurities, we all do. But it’s important for us to observe and understand the impact these insecurities have on the quality of our lives so that we can lean to control them instead of having them control us.
If you are open and willing to shake your limiting beliefs and insecurities a little bit so that you can build your confidence and regain the power and control over your life, these 7 steps will help you do just that.
How To Let Go of Insecurities: 7 Steps To Build Your Confidence
1. Accept the truth – “no one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
Nobody knows your struggles and life experiences better than you do. And whether you feel like people treated you rightly, or not, it’s important to make peace with this idea that, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” (Eleanor Roosevelt) I know it’s not always easy to hear this, but it helps you to go from perceiving yourself as a victim to realizing that your life belong to you.
People have insecurities not because they were exposed to too much positivity, encouragement, and happiness but rather because those close to them criticized them because they were exposed to destructive behaviors. Usually, insecurities come from a time when you were hurt and injured emotionally.
Somebody said/did something to you that made you sad/hurt and often these insecurities originate in childhood. See if you can go back in time, see if you can remember how it all started, where it all originated.
This practice is really therapeutic and will help you heal most of your wounds and insecurities. Let go of the old you and allow fresh new positive thoughts to enter your mind.
“You have the power to heal your life, and you need to know that. We think so often that we are helpless, but we’re not. We always have the power of our minds…Claim and consciously use your power.” ~ Louise L. Hay
3. Ask questions
Whenever you have a thought that is not beneficial to you pop in your mind, just ask yourself questions like:
“Do these thoughts have any real foundation?
Will they matter 10 years from now?
Are they helping me in any way?
Why do I think this way?
Where do these beliefs originate from? Are these beliefs mine?
Do I really want to pollute my mind in this way?”
Ask questions in order to find the answers, for in these answers you’ll discover that you don’t have to believe everything you think.
“The power to question is the basis of all human progress.”~ Indira Gandhi
Having the same thoughts over and over again will do you no good. The same old thoughts will lead to the same old behaviors and the same old behaviors will lead to the same old results. If you are not happy with where you are and what you have, be willing to embrace change, be willing to change your mind.
No matter how old you are, no matter what part of the world you are living in, no matter what your religion is, no matter what skin color you have, it’s never too late to change your mind. It’s never too late to let go of who you think you are in order to allow yourself to become what you could be.
“We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.” ~ Albert Einstein
5. Envision the end result
What are the attitudes you want to embody, what are the skills you want to master? What do you want people to recognize you for? What is the envisioned result of your thoughts, decisions, and actions? Know where you want to be and who you want to be and start taking action.
“Vision without action is a daydream. Action without vision is a nightmare.” ~ Japanese Proverb
Once you know what you want to achieve, once you know the person you want to become and the level of confidence you want to master, things will start to fall into place and by using the power of visualization things will get a lot easier. It’s so important for you to look into your mind’s eye and visualize the desired outcome, to see yourself as already being the person you want to become and as already having achieved all the things you want to achieve.
I really love how George Kohlrieser talks about this in his book, Hostage at the Table: How Leaders Can Overcome Conflict, Influence Others: “The power of imagination is incredible. Often we see athletes achieving unbelievable results and wonder how they did it. One of the tools they use is visualization or mental imagery… they made the choice to create their destinies and visualized their achievements before they ultimately succeeded.”
7. Get emotional
You want to make sure that in the end all of the things you envisioned will eventually materialize, and by assuming the feelings that come from having the things you want to have and by feeling the feelings that come from being the person you want to be, you will accelerate the manifestation process, and you will help bring into form the things you need even faster.
“The emotions aren’t always immediately subject to reason, but they are always immediately subject to action.” ~ William James