“Judgmental people are not ‘bad’ people. They are simply misguided beings who have lost themselves in a world of fear, blame, and criticism. What they need, is not our anger, irritation, and frustration, but rather our love, forgiveness, and compassion…” ~ Luminita D. Saviuc
In a world full of people, it can be so easy to judge and be judged. And even though that is an easy thing to do, it doesn’t mean we should do it. It doesn’t mean we should judge those who judge us.
7 Powerful Ways to Deal with Highly Judgmental People
1. When dealing with highly judgmental people, don’t take things personally
If someone you know is judging you harshly, know that it is probably because they judge themselves harshly. They speak to you in the same way they speak to themselves.
Don’t take it personally.
Don’t make their negativity your own. Don’t let their toxic words go to your heart. Don’t poison yourself with things that have little or nothing to do with who you are.
“Don’t take anything personally. Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.” ~ Don Miguel Ruiz
2. When dealing with highly judgmental people, learn to look beyond appearances.
I have always loved these words from Thích Nhất Hạnh:
“When another person makes you suffer, it is because he suffers deeply within himself, and his suffering is spilling over. He does not need punishment; he needs help. That’s the message he is sending.” ~ Thích Nhất Hạnh
People give what they have in their hearts to give. Those who have love, give love. Those who have pain, give only pain. Learn to look beyond appearances, behind the harsh words and toxic behaviors of these judgmental people.
Look with loving eyes and see if you can find that place within them where love, beauty, and kindness resides. Look for the good in people. And trust that in doing so, you will help bring out the good that lies dormant in them.
3. When dealing with highly judgmental people, embrace a compassionate attitude.
When people are feeling down, unhappy, lost, and disconnected from themselves and the world around them, they begin to project their own darkness on to the people they interact with.
They start judging the world around them.
Haven’t you noticed? It’s when we are unhappy with ourselves and our lives that we begin to judge, blame, and criticize those around us. And not when we are happy...
Treat everyone with respect, love, and compassion, including those who judge and criticize you harshly, not necessarily because they deserve it, but because you do. Appreciate the contrast. Silently thank them for the many lessons they are now teaching you and allow them to make you Better, not Bitter.
4. When dealing with highly judgmental people, look for the lesson.
Believe it or not, everyone you come in contact with has something to teach you. There’s always a valuable lesson for you to learn. Just like Lao Tzu said it more than 2500 years ago,
“What is a good man but a bad man’s teacher? What is a bad man but a good man’s job? If you don’t understand this, you will get lost, however intelligent you are. It is the great secret.” ~ Lao Tzu
Get in the habit of looking for the meaning behind every interaction and every experience life sends your way. Look for the lesson, look for the hidden meaning…
5. When dealing with highly judgmental people, remember that the world is your mirror.
I have come to realize that whenever I lose control over my thoughts by going to a dark and fearful space, that’s when things start to go wrong in my world. That’s when I begin to encounter people who judge, not only those around me, but they also judge me as well.
Like attracts like. If there’s darkness within, there will be darkness without. And that is why is so important to assume responsibility for everything that comes your way so that you can correct what can be corrected, and change what needs to be changed.
6. When dealing with highly judgmental people, adopt an attitude of gratitude.
“I have learned silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind; yet, strange, I am ungrateful to those teachers.” ~ Khalil Gibran
Get into the habit of expressing your gratitude and appreciation for every interaction and every experience life sends you way, no matter if good or bad. Use all your interactions all to enrich your life and all your experiences. Use it all to grow, to expand, and to become the beautiful and wonderful being you were born to be. Don’t let anything go to waste.
7. Focus your energy and attention upon those who love and appreciate you.
No matter how many judgmental people come your way, promise yourself to never waste your precious time judging the people who judge you.
Instead, choose to channel your energy on loving the people who love you. Use your precious time and energy to show your love and appreciation to those who love and adore you. In doing so, you will attract more and more love into your world. And your life will only get better and better…
And these are the 7 clever ways to deal with highly judgmental people. I hope they will inspire and empower you to look at judgmental people with more loving eyes. And I hope that in applying these ‘techniques’, you will become a Better, not Bitter human being.
P.S. This is one of my favorite quotes from A Course in Miracles. For me, it’s a great reminder to look with loving eyes at all beings and not judge anyone.
“When you meet anyone, remember it is a holy encounter. As you see him you will see yourself. As you treat him you will treat yourself. As you think of him you will think of yourself. Never forget this, for in him you will find yourself or lose yourself.” ~ A Course In Miracles
**What about you? Did it ever happen to you to start judging someone simply because they were judging you? I really want to know what are your thoughts on this. You can share your insights by joining the conversation in the comment section below 🙂