Emotions get such a bad rap. We’ve all heard that women are too emotional, men don’t know the meaning, and kids are told to ‘stop crying’ probably more than they’ve been told the word ‘no’.
The lengths that we go to to avoid emotion can’t possibly be worth the long way around them.
Your Emotions
We lie to ourselves, we lie to others, we build up walls, sweep arguments under the rug, act tough, hide, ignore, fake it, we’re passive aggressive, we give the silent treatment, avoid confrontation, we won’t forgive, we refuse apologies, and sometimes we won’t even accept an apology, all in the avoidance of emotion!
Of course there are probably five thousand more ways we avoid emotion, but I bet you’ve grasped the concept.
“If you don’t think your anxiety, depression, sadness and stress impact your physical health, think again. All of these emotions trigger chemical reactions in your body, which can lead to inflammation and a weakened immune system. Learn how to cope, sweet friend. There will always be dark days.”~ Kris Carr
On Using Your Emotions to Your Advantage
What if we could actually learn something from emotions?
What if emotions was actually our teacher?
What if emotions had the ultimate answers to unlimited happiness?
The fact is, we can learn everything from emotions.
Our personalities are built around layers upon layers of suppressed unconscious emotions. Look at emotions as your guide to knowing and understanding yourself more intimately. Emotion is a red flag waving at you telling you that there is something to explore and know about yourself. Since negative emotions are the ones that causes so many problems, let’s start there.
An emotional charge is not the natural state. If you feel negative emotions such as anger, know that that emotion is not about the other person or event. Negative emotion is all about you. Sometimes that can be difficult to swallow due to the level of severity of what has been done “to you”. This does not mean that the other person was right.
The right and wrong of it is irrelevant.
“We are human beings at the end of the day and feeling emotion is part of being alive. Making peace with all of the emotions that we feel, accepting them and allowing them, is the surest way to flow with life instead of against it.” ~ Luminita D. Saviuc
What is relevant, is the emotion. Why did this cause a negative emotion in YOU?
Many of the common issues people have are in the areas of worth, security, trust, love, abandonment, confidence, and neglect.
“Every day we have plenty of opportunities to get angry, stressed or offended. But what you’re doing when you indulge these negative emotions is giving something outside yourself power over your happiness. You can choose to not let little things upset you.’~ Joel Osteen
So many of our reactions are habitual, so it takes some effort just to become aware of the reasons we react emotionally. Awareness is the first step toward change. Awareness allows you to slow down and process before reacting. A new understanding can help you to realize there is no real threat and therefore the emotion is no longer necessary or natural.
Simple awareness shifts like these can add up and make a huge difference in how you feel. The best part is that you can do this yourself without therapy or other professionals. The willingness to explore can be all you need. Imagine the significant changes you can make when you uncover several of these old and outdated beliefs!
Use your emotions to your advantage, and watch your life transform!
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Brandie Allen
Brandie is a personal development coach, the author of The Power of Self-Mastery, with education in mental health and in consciousness and transformative studies. Through her own personal struggles with verbal abuse and a high-conflict divorce, Brandie learned ways to understand herself more intimately. She came to understand what an important role awareness of emotion plays in improving ourselves and our mental health. Getting to know your emotions is the key to your happiness. Find out more about her and her work on her website www.brandieallen.com
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