“It’s not what you are that holds you back, it’s what you think you are not” Unknown
One of my own biggest struggles has been to truly acknowledge myself and all that I do. I have spent years retraining my thoughts and practicing self-love so that I remember how wonderful I am. As a result, my experience with self-worth, beauty, and peace has dramatically increased.
I know from my own experience that this isn’t a simple transition to make. We have all spent years beating ourselves up for mistakes, comparing our lives to others and reaching for more in the hopes that we’ll find happiness and love.
Other times we consistently look outside for praise. We want others to remind us or notice how fabulous we are. The truth is, it doesn’t matter how much others notice or give you praise unless you feel it within yourself first. I am not saying it doesn’t feel amazing to receive recognition because it does! Though, the only way to embody it and receive those compliments is to know and love yourself. If not, you likely not to even notice the recognition you receive from others.
The problem that I most often hear from my clients is that they don’t give themselves credit for what they are doing or what they have done in their lives. If they lost 10 pounds, they see that as “just” 10 pounds or if they take care of the house and their family, that doesn’t count since its expected. I hear a constant minimizing of accomplishments and worth.
10 Ways to Start Giving Yourself Credit
Do you give yourself credit for being you? Do you remember how amazing you are and how far you’ve come?
Here are few practices and beliefs to start giving yourself credit:
I have no idea where we all got the notion that we need more to be worthy. Yet millions of people (myself included) struggle with proving and feeling good enough. I spent time reflecting on my own fears and realized that I am enough for me. We don’t need to be enough – we need to embrace ourselves and give ourselves unconditional love.
2. Celebrate yourself.
When was the last time you did something and then celebrated yourself; not on your birthday, anniversary or vacation but during regular day to day life? Celebrating can look like many things; the main point is not how you celebrate but that you honor yourself for something you did. Basically, you are showing up for yourself by saying “yes, I did something and I deserve to feel good about it.”
3. Create your own definition of success, beauty, and happiness.
What is the standard that you are constantly driving towards in life? This life is about you and you get to choose what you’re aiming for. Sit down for 5 minutes and write your own definitions.
4. March to the beat of your own drum.
Once you create our own unique definitions, you can begin practicing and letting yourself lead the way.
Being human means you are a part of this life experience and there are certain challenges, fears and emotions you must experience. Rather than trying to avoid it, start to accept it. Certain feelings are along for the ride – the entire ride.
We’ve heard this a million times and it is still true. Treat and speak to yourself the way you would to your bestie. Begin to know and love yourself so much that when all the negative self-talk arises you are aware of it and shut it down!
7. Allow yourself play and pleasure.
Do you ever feel like you are waiting for your next vacation to relax? Why do we need to wait till summer to have fun? Having fun is a part of living in the now and before you ask, YES, you deserve it. Think of one thing that brings you joy and do it!
8. Practice Being vs. Doing.
The past few months I realized that I had so many attachments to “doing.” I constantly wanted to do because then I could prove to myself that I am worthy and deserving. So instead, I have been sitting with the discomfort of simply being. I have nothing to prove and my mere existence and presence are enough.
9. Remind yourself daily who you are.
This may sound silly but remembering who you are deep down can be tough. We get wrapped up in our head and in comparison, that we honestly forget how magnificent we are. Take a moment to write down who you are deep down – not what you do, where you live or any titles. Begin with I AM…
10. Know your “why.”
When I first became a life coach, I worked on this question a lot. Why do I want to do what I do for myself and for others? It is a simple question that can be hard to answer and easy to forget. Add this to the above questions and consider what’s lying beneath the outer layers of your life. I doubt that your “why” has anything to do with being perfect or not deserving more. More than likely it has to do with love, connection, and acceptance.
I hope this guides you in beginning to cut yourself some slack and give yourself the credit you deserve. Without even knowing you, I can imagine how much effort, love and tears have gone into your life experience and I thank you for being you.