“To offer no resistance to life is to be in a state of grace, ease, and lightness. This state is then no longer dependent upon things being in a certain way, good or bad. It seems almost paradoxical, yet when your inner dependency on form is gone, the general conditions of your life, the outer forms, tend to improve greatly.
Things, people, or conditions that you thought you needed for your happiness now come to you with no struggle or effort on your part, and you are free to enjoy and appreciate them – while they last. All those things, of course, will still pass away, cycles will come and go, but with dependency gone, there is no fear of loss anymore. Life flows with ease.” ~ Eckhart Tolle
My greatest desire was always to feel peace. There was a time when I truly didn’t know what that felt like. It seems like a distant destination that I desired to reach but had no idea how. My mind told me that the more things felt under control the more peace I would feel. If I could only fix everything – my weight, my income, my family, the pain I felt etc.; then things would be ok. Of course, even when things seemed under control, I still didn’t feel peace. I felt tired, ashamed and worried.
Deep down I had a vision for myself and for life and that created a lot of resistance. I don’t ever remember consciously creating this vision, it was just there. It included stories about how things should be – the perfect relationship, career, family, and body. If things are good then it will look like this and feel like this and that was that!
Letting Go of Resistance
Whenever something didn’t go as I assumed it would (which was very often) I would be upset and negative. I couldn’t see that there was a rainbow of possibilities out there and that I didn’t get to choose how my desires would come to be nor would I get to choose the way in which I would learn lessons. In other words, I wasn’t in control.
I constantly resisted the way things were and fought against them. I used it as evidence to prove how horrible life really was and how hard it was for things to work out. It became ammunition to support feeling like a victim.
I was so attached to how my life should be that it destroyed my ability to see, appreciate and enjoy life as it is.
How to Let Go of Resistance and Start Enjoying Life
It was only when I began to accept my life the way it was and trust that there was light at the end of the tunnel that I felt peace. And this didn’t happen naturally. I had to start a new practice and use a different lens when looking at my life. I chose to do this mindfully because I was tired of being negative and stressed.
Here are 5 ways to let go of resistance and start enjoying your life:
1. Know your story.
We all have stories we tell ourselves about life and how it should be. What’s yours and does it serve you in feeling peace?
2. Create a new story.
If your old story included a lot of “shoulds” – what does your new story include? Perhaps more acceptance, trust, and flow, and less resistance.
3. Collect evidence.
Even when nothing goes as we think it should, we can look back and gather a few pieces of evidence that prove it actually happened in the best way possible.
What good has come from these past experiences?
4. Shift your focus.
Pay attention to the things you concentrate on. If you find like most people that you tend to get stuck on how things aren’t working out the right way – shift your focus to what is working.
Create a mantra for your new practice. A sentence you repeat to yourself daily. For example, “I am open and accepting of life’s experiences” or “I trust that everything is happening for the best.”
When we release resistance towards the way things are we create space for many more opportunities. Letting go of our “shoulds” is one of the most powerful ways you can change your life and feel peace.
I’d love to hear from you – please share what touched you in this post and how you want to practice acceptance in your life.