What You Resist, Persists!
Today I choose not to struggle anymore, today I choose not to fight against the whole universe, against what is, against the present moment, and I allow things to just happen and I know that by doing this I will in fact allow myself to grow and develop as a human being. Today I say Yes to the Universe!
I talked to somebody today and this person was telling me how overwhelmed she is with her current situation and how she feels like she can’t take it anymore. Her parents divorced when she was only 1 year old and she never knew what a real and loving family really is. Her mother never gave her the love and attention a daughter will need, and all of her life she was raised feeling like a stranger in her own home.
Since she was 15 years old, every summer she will go visit her relatives in Europe and she’ll have to work during her spring break in order to earn money for herself, just because she never received the things a girl her age world receive from her parents, so she had to work in order to get them for herself. One year, after coming back from Europe, she found out that her mother found herself a new partner and she was now living with him in their home. The little attention she got till then, that will be taken away from her. She met this man who was older than her, and even though she liked him, she decided to get married so that she could eventually get the man her mother was living with, out of their home, and she eventually did. She never wanted to move away with her husband, for her only plan was to make that man leave. Now, after 3 years of marriage and a 1 year old daughter, she wonders if that was worth it. I guess it’s true when they say that short term pain brings long term gain.
I guess this happens when we try to force things to happen the way we would like them to happen, the moment we decide to swim against the current. Nature needs to follow its course, and the moment we decide to take control over the situations and force things, make it suit our own selfish needs, we can’t expect not to pay the consequences. I don’t want you to think that I am judging or anything, for I am not. I really believe that she did the best she knew at the moment with what she had. Children need love in order to grow beautifully, and she never receive any of that. Who knows what goes through a person’s mind in a situation like this one? Who know how they really feel in their heart. There must be a lot of pain and a great deal of suffering, I can’t deny that. Nobody should go through something like this, but we can’t change what happened, we can’t change the past, but what we can surely change our attitude toward these situations. It is only up to us. We can choose to punish those around us for our suffering, or we can focus all of our energy and attention to move in the direction we want, making our life a more happier and pleasant one, for ourselves, and for all the people that are present and will be present in our lives from now on.
I really believe that if we would learn to stop interfering, and allow things to just happen, our lives will be a lot easier. A lot of times, when we choose to punish others for something they said or done to us, what we are really doing in fact is punishing ourselves. We can’t expect to keep somebody down and not stay down with them, right?
“What you resist not only persists, but will grow in size.” Carl Gustav Jung
If we can’t accept that maybe the things that are happening to us are happening for reason, and the problems that we are now facing may be lessons that we need to learn in order to get to a new place, a better place, in order to become the person we are meant to be, in order for us to grow… then we will keep on making the same mistakes over and over again, playing the victim and feeling lost, depressed, frustrated, anxious etc.. The moment we choose to interfere with what is, the moment we choose to fight against it, that’s the moment our struggle begins. If you want to better understand what I am taking about, try going outside in the middle of a tornado and fight against it. You will think that’s madness, right? Well, isn’t that what we’re doing when we oppose to everything that is happening to us, when we can’t accept what is? Constantly trying to find new ways to change it, struggling and fighting against the present moment, and in fact, against the whole Universe.
This happens to so many of us, simply because we can’t accept what life has to offer, and we choose to eventually fight it. We are like a rigid tree in the midst of a storm and if we keep on living this way, we will eventually break down, while on the other hand, if we choose to be flexible and go with the flow, nothing bad will ever happen to us. We will not get hurt, on contrary, we might discover who we really are and what we’re really capable of achieving.
We might not always know what’s best for us, and we might not always have the right answers to all of our questions, and although we might feel lost from time to time, we need to keep in mind that if we really believe in ourselves, and if we accept life as it is, without constantly trying to change it, trying to fight it, we will eventually get to live the life we want. Whenever we feel overwhelmed, like we can’t take it anymore, we can ask for guidance, and the person that can really help us, is ourselves. We already know all the answers to all of our questions, whether we are aware of this or not. Everything we ever wanted and everything we will ever need is already inside us.
Whenever you feel like you can’t handle your current situation, whenever you feel like it’s too much for you to handle, you can make yourself feeling better by simply paying attention to your breathing. By doing this, you will shift your attention from all that might be going wrong in your life, from all your negativity to the present moment, and if you are 100% present in the now, to what is, you will eventually realize that there is nothing for you to worry about.
So many times our mind is playing tricks on us, and we might think that life is too much, and that we might feel overwhelmed, but if we start writing down on a piece of paper all that we think our problems are, all that it is we’re stressing about, we might realize that they are nothing more than fantasies. We might discover that, in fact, there is absolutely nothing to worry about, and all our problems are not even real, and that they are only in our minds.
These things may happen when we need to do more than we are used to, when we need to take on more responsibilities, and we associate more with stress. A lot of people do this. It may be something we have learned while growing up, it may be something we have seen our parents do, our relatives, teachers, friends, maybe on TV, or who knows where else, and in our subconscious mind, we know that if we go out and do something new, something that may be difficult for us, challenging maybe, we must to stress and become neurotic about it.
We need to learn how to be more flexible, and we need to trust that inner voice of ours… that voice that we ignore so often. This is normal if you think about it, for nobody taught us how to rely on ourselves, but only on others, and nobody told us anything about an inner voice, right? Well, you are still alive right? You can still learn and you can still grow, in fact, we will keep on learning for as long as we live, and for those who think other wise, well, for those people, the moment they will decide to stop learning, they will start dying little by little. Slowly but surely.
“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” Mark Twain