“We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.” ~ Einstein

Most of us think that problems need to be solved, right? Well,  problems don’t need to be solved, they need to be outgrown, because if we don’t outgrow them, it will take us a great deal of time to “solve” and “fix” them, and chances are that we will get stuck at that level.

We are meant to be constantly learning, constantly growing and constantly evolving.

You Don’t Solve Your Problems, You Outgrow Them

When you have a problem, if you want to be done with it, you shouldn’t spend too much time talking and thinking about it, because that will only keep the problem in your life longer. I always say to people, think not about those things you do not want because that will only attract more of the things you don’t want.  Think about those things you do want, so you can get more of them. Think in positive terms at all times! In the words of Ralph Waldo Emerson, “Don’t be pushed by your problems. Be led by your dreams.”

The first thing we want to do, whenever we are faced with a difficult situation, is to imagine ourselves already free of those situations, to imagine how our lives would look like without those problems, and how that would make us feel. This is what we should be doing, because, if you ask me, people insist way too much on the problems they have, instead of focusing on the solutions and the results they want to get. Like attracts like, and if you invest your precious energy thinking about your problems instead of thinking about the solutions to those problems, you will definitely get stuck.

I once heard Wayne Dyer say that Abraham Maslow believed that 15 minutes was more than enough to spend on our problems. Whenever a patient would visit Maslow’s office, he would allow them to talk about their problems up to 15 minutes and then he would have them focus on the desired outcome. He wanted them to focus most of their time and energy talking about the things they wanted to achieve, on the solutions to their so called problems, not on the problems.

You see, when you spend too much time talking and focusing on problems, you get too caught up, and it will be quite hard for you to detach from them, and see the big picture. You will start seeing your problems as being bigger than yourself, and you will be overwhelmed; you will have a hard time finding your way out; you will have a hard time outgrowing your problems, and chances are, that you will be outgrown by them.

And you know what? A lot of times, we don’t even perceive these problems, that we may encounter with, from an objective and realistic point of view, but rather from a subjective and distorted point of view. Many of our so called problems are only in our heads, and we need to learn how to see reality as it really is, we need to see facts as facts, and not based on what our mind and emotions tell us is real. How we feel about a certain thing or situation, doesn’t always mean that’s how everybody is going to be feeling about it; it doesn’t mean that’s how we should be feeling. It’s how we choose to respond to whatever comes our way that will eventually determine how we perceive the environment and the world we live in, and a number of problems we will have. Our thoughts and perceptions about the world will eventually create our reality, and it depends on us, whether we choose to see the words as loving, or not so loving.

We need to learn to not sweat the small stuff because you see, a lot of our problems are just that, small stuff. When you are too caught up in whatever it is that you perceive as being negative, wrong, disturbing, etc., you no longer see reality as it is, you no longer see things as they are. It’s crucial that you understand this because if you don’t, you will always see yourself as being just a small person with really big problems, you will always see yourself as being a victim.

The idea is, for you to stop trying so hard, to stop talking to everybody you meet about your miserable and unhappy life, about your horrible, and impossible to overcome, problems, because that’s not how you will get rid of them. Like attracts like, and if you direct your energy in the wrong direction, you will be overwhelmed and you will be unhappy for the rest of your life, because, the way you see it, your problems are way bigger than you are, and they are the ones who are controlling your life, not you!

You are bigger than all of your problems, and you have to see yourself as being that way. Detach yourself from whatever it is that is happening to you, with you, and all around you. Step out of your mind and try seeing things objectively. By doing so will you be able to see yourself as being bigger than all your problems. By doing so you will feel in control of your life and no problem will be bigger than you are.

~love, Luminita💫

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Luminita D. Saviuc

Luminita, the Founder of PurposeFairy, is an enthusiastic student of the arts, psychology, and spirituality. Her acclaimed blog post, 15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy , was shared by over 1.3 million people on Facebook. Later on, it became the heart of her book, 15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy., book that was published by Penguin Random House. For more details check out the 15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy Book Page.

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1 Comment

  • Kelly

    18, September 2012 at 3:59 pm

    I always thought that talking about problems could help you figure things out. Isn’t that why there are therapists? Sometimes you need someone else to point out things you can’t see. Things that keep you stuck. So I’m confused!

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