“The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive. To put it more accurately, it is not so much that you use your mind wrongly—you usually don’t use it at all. It uses you. All the things that truly matter — beauty, love, creativity, joy, inner peace — arise from beyond the mind…” ~ Eckhart Tolle
You know what? Every time somebody would do something to hurt me in the past, I would dwell upon it for hours, days, weeks and even months. I would think about that specific situation, about that person and I would imagine all kind of scenarios and in those scenarios, I would change that which just happened or I would look for ways to make that person pay for everything. I would poison my mind with all kind of horrible thoughts that would only make me feel more miserable.
Yes, I know it’s pretty sick but unfortunately, we do this to ourselves. As time went by and as I started training my mind and controlling my thoughts, for I have come to the conclusion that I wasn’t doing myself any good with this way of thinking, things started changing.
As I write, I realize how I sound like a sick person that just finished her treatment and now is telling everybody how she healed. It’s not really the case but I think it’s very important that we pay really close attention to our thoughts because our thoughts create our reality and it’s up to us if we choose to make our reality a pleasant one or not so pleasant.
This is one of the reasons I love to read about the human mind, about how we work, why we do the things we do and how we can improve ourselves. If we don’t know who we are, if we don’t manage to understand ourselves, our thinking, our behavior, our mind, we can’t expect to understand those around us either. It’s like trying to read something without learning the alphabet first.
So as you start working on yourself, as you start paying closer attention to your thoughts, you no longer get so caught up in what is happening to you and around you. You manage to get yourself more detached from everything and you start seeing things more and more as they really are. You no longer sweat the small stuff and as time goes by you will realize that it’s all small stuff. I know that most of us choose to worry, complain, hate, fear, condemn all the time and unfortunately, this is how we spend most of our life. We get used to this lifestyle, we get comfortable and you know, most of the time we complain but if somebody comes with a solution, we reject it and you know why?
Because we like it that way. We don’t want solutions, we just want to stay in this state, to whine, to condemn and complain and that’s it. Don’t give us solutions because that’s not what we want.
Yes, and as I was saying, it happen to me to deal with a lot of “not so nice people” in my life and I have to say that I have learned a lot from them and I am so grateful for everything they had to teach me and as I mastered my lessons, they left. They just come and go and if you choose to focus on the problems rather than the things you can learn from them, if you choose to see them as horrible people that just won’t allow you to be happy, as people who are only trying to make your life more miserable, they will be there for a long period of time. It’s up to you.
For me, when somebody like this is” knocking” at my door, I smile and I analyze the situation, I look for the lessons and I also try to understand why is it that they are acting the way they do? Why is it that they are trying to make me feel bad and why are they trying to hurt my feelings? There are a lot of people like this put there and they will show up in our lives over and over again. I really believe it.
There is no end to them. We all want to be happy, we all want the same things from life and as time goes by, some people get that which they asked for and some don’t. I believe that this is where people start to change. Not getting what they want, not getting all those things that they think will make them happy, they become bitter, resentful, mean and they are looking for ways to project all of those negative feelings on those around them.
When I was a little girl I knew that as you grow older you get wiser and wiser but I really don’t see this around me and I believe it is such a pity. If you want to be happy, you will definitely be happy and you have to understand that there is no way to happiness and that happiness is the way. I know people have a hard time understanding this. I did too in the beginning but it all makes sense now. If you can’t be happy now, in this moment, in this place, at this very time, you will never be happy.
I know it sounds pretty harsh but this is true. How many times did you wish for something and you just knew that when you will get that something you will really be happy. How was your state of mind before getting that something? How did you feel? And after getting that which you wished for, how long did it take you to get back to the initial state? You see, we think that something or someone could make us happy, but that is wrong. They will make us happy for a short or not so short period of time, but in the end, you will get back to your initial state. If you don’t believe me, try it. I know you wish for something right now and I know that you might get that something and I also know that you will be happy for a while, but that’s it. You will always get back to where you started.
That’s why I suggest you start working on yourself, on your thinking and on your level of happiness, and as time will go by your mind will be so open and you will no longer feel the need to judge, to put a label on everything and everyone. You will be so detached from everything that happens to you and you will no longer be so affected by all the crazy things that come your way and all those crazy people.
You might get mad for a really small period of time, you might be angry and you might feel the need to hate that somebody or that something but it will all go away. You will realize that you are no longer that person that could do all of those things and that you have changed and you will be so proud of yourself. It amazes me when I see changes like this taking place because I realize how huge we are and how many wonderful things we can accomplish and what great potential we all have. Everything that we are for… love, trust, peace, compassion, happiness, empowers us, and everything that we are against… hate, anger, doubt, fear, weakens us. Now choose: HAPPY or UNHAPPY.