I know a lot of people that are always preoccupied with what those around them are doing and what those around them are saying and because of this, they can’t seem to get ahead with their lives. They get so stressed about everything that happens around them, about those situations and people that have nothing to do with them, those situations and behaviors that don’t even affect them.
Why in the world would you care what others are doing with their lives, why in the world would you stress about their actions and behaviors? Let them live their lives the way they know, the way they think is best for them. If you keep on worrying about others, if you are always looking to see what they are doing, you will have no time to work on yourself. You will have no time to improve and grow.
I was going to visit my mother the other day and I was in the car with a lady, some kind of relative. I really don’t know her that well but as we were sitting in the car, all of a sudden she started talking about this lady whose husband just died. Instead of empathizing with the poor woman, she started throwing garbage at her and saying all these horrible things about her. And while doing this, she was so emotional, so frustrated and mad about what that person has done.
This is why there are so many of us out there feeling miserable. This is one of the reasons why we can’t evolve, we can’t really be happy.
Let others be.
So what if they are making mistakes, so what if they are making some bad choices? Let them do what they know how to do, let them live their lives in the way they know best. Let them learn from their mistakes and judge them not.
None of us is perfect. None of us is faultless.
We all make mistakes, we all, at one point or another, make some wrong choices that we might regret later but it’s all part of the process. We make mistakes, we fall, we look for the lesson that is to be learned and we move on. You will never develop, you will never improve yourself if you are constantly worrying about what others are doing. Stop judging those around you and start asking yourself questions like: Why is it that they are acting this way? What is the cause of their behaviors?”
When somebody is acting in a destructive manner, know that he or she might be in a great deal of pain, that person has no love for herself and is projecting her inner feelings, her inner state on the outer world, on those around her. A person who is love, a person who has to learn to love herself will have only love to give and share with those around her. Love and nothing else.
When you judge those around you, know that you aren’t defining them. What you see is a reflection of yourself and what you don’t like in them, what you can’t accept in those around you, you haven’t accepted in yourself. When you judge them, you actually defining yourself as somebody who constantly feels the need to find fault in others, to criticize and complain. I gave up hanging out with this kind of people a long time ago because I couldn’t stand it anymore. I rather have a small group of friends, I rather stay alone and do my writing, read the books I love, listen to the music I like than be around people like this.
If you want to grow, if you want to change your bad behaviors, if you want to improve your life, your relationships and yourself, stay away from people like this. Watch them, learn from them but don’t allow them to poison your mind. Know who you are, know where you’re going and pay no attention to what others are doing and what aren’t doing. You live your life and they live theirs. Who are we to judge them? Who are we to say what’s best for them? Only they can figure this thing out.
Focus your attention on yourself, your behaviors, your dreams, your purpose and look not for fault in others. All you need to know is that you have to be better than you used to be and not better than others. You are you and they are them. Every time you focus your attention on outward, every time you choose to compare yourself with others, you will lose sight of who you really are. This will weaken you and you might lose faith in what you can and can’t do.
The most important person in your life is you and all you need to do is better than you used to be. Never stop learning. Never stop growing and improving and remember that
True nobility is not about being better than anybody else, it’s about being better than you used to be. ~ Wayne Dyer