Why Forgiveness Is Power?
To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness. ~Robert Muller
Do you consider yourself to be a forgiving or resentful person? If somebody has hurt you in the past or did something to make you suffer, would you hold on to those past events, thoughts and feelings, or would you just let them go?
I always say that where there is anger, hate, revenge, bitterness, there is also a lot of pain underneath, and I really believe that to be true. The person who is blissful and content with herself and the world around, no matter how many jerks she/he will encounter, and no matter how much pain those people may try to cause him/her, these people will always respond with what they have inside, and fortunately, you will never find hate and revenge within them. They know that an eye for an eye would only leave the whole world blind, like Gandhi said it, and they don’t react to that.
I know it’s a lot easier to give back exactly what you receive, and in this case, a lot of negativity, but we don’t want to do what’s easier, but rather what is best for our health, well being and also of those around us. I know that people can be really mean sometimes, and that they can do horrible things to those they come into contact with, to those they love and care about, but I also believe that people can change, and this is why it’s so important to give up on your personal history that you might have had with those people, and to allow them to show you just that.
If you keep an inner record of what this/that person did to you, and what they said to you, and how they made you feel, how much pain they may have caused you, etc. , every time you will come into contact with them, you will be reminded of all of those things, and you will never be able to forgive and forget, nor to allow them to show you how sorry they are for what happened. No matter if they did all of those things on purpose or not, by holding on to grudge, anger or whatever it is that you are holding on to, you will bring even more pain upon your shoulders.
Just think about it. How is it possible to affect them with your hate, or whatever it is that your feelings toward them are? You sit home, ruminating about all of the times they have mistreated you; and all of the times they have hurt you; and all of the many horrible things they did to you; making all kind of scenarios in your head about the things you want to tell them, and about the many ways you could get even… You spend most of your time doing just that, when the people you hate some much are probably having the time of their lives, not being affected by your feelings at all. It just doesn’t make any sense. Your ego might tell you that it does, but deep down in your heart you know that what you are doing is pretty crazy and disturbing.
I guess it’s time for you to stop, don’t you think? Forgive and forget, not for them, but for your own sake. Why spend your time thinking about something that would only attract more anger and drain your emotional, physical, and mental energy, ignoring all the beauty that is present in and all around you… What’s done is done. Let it go. Detach yourself from it.
For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
One of the many mistakes people make in this case, I would say is, that they choose to hold on to something that is not healthy for them, just because they aren’t willing to let go of some past resentments. Why won’t you let go of something that is causing you so much pain?
Anger will never disappear so long as thoughts of resentment are cherished in the mind. Anger will disappear just as soon as thoughts of resentment are forgotten. ~Buddha
Here’s what I would like you to do is: take a sheet of paper and a pen, and write down a couple of questions, questions that are meant to help you see things differently, and to help you let go of your own misery. After you write each question, try giving an honest answer to each and every one of them:
Who is the person that mistreated you? Is it your mother, your father, your spouse, is it your child, your best friend, your neighbour your dog, your cat? Who is it?
Do you think they did what they did just to hurt you? Do you think they did it on purpose?
Do you think is possible for you to forgive them, and I mean, really forgive them?
Do you think is possible for you to forget everything and go back to how things were before?
Would you rather hold on to your anger than go back to being friends? Can you even remember how good it felt to be in their presence, to spend time with them?
Would you say that they are sorry for what they did?
Are you willing to give up on the relationship you had with this person because of what he/she did to you?
Is it worth being upset? Is your ego really that big?
What does your mind tell you to do?
What is your heart telling you to do?
To whom are you going to listen? Your heart, or your mind?
And then make a decision. You either choose to continue being friends with that person or not. Whatever your decision will be, you will eventually have to let go in order to be happy!
Let go of that friendship, let go of the relationship you had with this person, let go of those past resentments, let go of the hate… let go of that person you once loved. You will have to chose, and no matter what your choice would be, you will eventually free yourself.
And here’s another tip for you. If you chose with your mind, who is so critical and judgemental, and most of the time telling you all kind of crazy things that would only attract even more anger and resentment upon you, you would probably have many regrets afterwards. On the other hand, if you choose with your heart, who is constantly trying to help us see that letting go of all that negativity, would not only bring you freedom but will also help you to rediscover the inner peace and happiness. It doesn’t have to be as complicated as your mind is trying to convince you life should be. Simplify your life! Listen to your mind but always follow your heart.