How many parents really know how to properly raise their children? I personally believe that there are many parents out there who are really struggling. Just take a walk on the park and try to notice the interaction between the parents and their children. You will hear things like:”Stop that. Don’t do that. Don’t touch that. Don’t go there you will hurt yourself. Get back here you little devil. I told you not to get up there. I told you it can’t be done. It is impossible. Who do you think you are.” I mean, don’t get me wrong, it’s good to take care of your child, to protect him from hurting himself but all the screaming and all the stories about how he can’t do this and that… I believe it’s to much.
And I heard one once that shocked me:”I told you to stop asking for things that I can’t give you? What the bleep is wrong with you stupid girl?” Stupid girl? When I hear something like this I am in deep pain. I mean it. Nobody is allowed to talk to a child like this. I don’t care if you are his parent or not, I don’t care if your child is really slow or not. That’s not how you talk to a human being, especially with a little child. It’s so wrong. Many parents do act like this and when their kids grow old and start acting disrespectful toward them, the parents are really offended and can’t seem to understand what have they done wrong. The way you treat your children is how they will treat you later on in life. They might not do it because they hate you or something but because that is the only thing they know how to do. That is exactly what you taught
There are also parents that know exactly how to do their job and they do it in a miraculous way. I saw a mother once in the park with her 15month old baby girl and this girl took a fall. Not an ugly fall but for a baby it was pretty much. You know what the mother did? I was amazed. She reply to the little girl:”It’s OK sweetie. You are OK. Get up and go play with your friend.” The little girl did not make a sound. Nothing. I know that the fall is always associated with the mother rushing toward her child and see if the child is hurt or not while the child starts crying. You know, it made me think. It’s the parents that really get the children to cry? When a baby sees all the attention and the worries on his or hers parents face, the baby gives them what they are unconsciously or consciously expecting. It’s that simple.
I also believe that it is very important to pay attention and not to impose your fears, doubts and limitation on your children. The vast majority of the parents do just that. I can tell you from my own experience. All the things I was told about what is and what isn’t possible, about what I can and can’t do… It’s insane. There are times when I get really frustrated and mad on my parents for telling me all that nonsense but I know that they did their best. It’s not their fault. They raised me in the way they were raised and they told me what they were told by their parent. They told me what they knew to be true at the time. Anyway, I believe that there are no limitation an what we can and can’t do and the only limitations that really exist are those that we impose on ourselves or those that are imposed on ourselves by others. That is why, every time I come in contact with a parent or a child, I share with them my beliefs.
Many people don’t know that when they are telling their children all the stories about the things that are about to be true and not so true, they are in fact limiting them. They are limiting their children. Let the child experiment. Let him dream. Let him use his imagination and creativity. Allow him to travel with his mind all over the world and all over the universe. Don’t impose your limitations on him. If you see the world as being full of horrible people, misery and poverty that does not really mean that the world is exactly the way you see it. If you share with your children all your worries, all your limiting beliefs you are also limiting his beautiful mind. You are not allowing him to just be who he really is. You are not allowing him to really be happy.
Children love to ask all kind of questions. Take the time to answer them, take time to explain all that needs to be explained. Don’t kill their creativity. I tell all my parent friends that they should always talk to their children about great things, about the great men. that ever existed and still exist on this planet. If you want your child to become a great man or a great woman, you have to share with him this world of greatness.
Tell them inspiring stories, tell them the stories of those great men that fought for their dreams, for what they believed in and how they eventually got what they wanted, how they eventually achieved what they dreamed for. If you do this, you will plant in their minds the seed of greatness. They will be inspired and they too will strive for great things. They will want to discover their true selves and they will want to achieve wonderful things. They will want to change this world, they will fight for that and they will make it happen because they know it is possible. They will know that if others did it they can do it too.
But if on the contrary, if you choose to talk to them about all the horrible things that are happening in the world, about all the things that are missing from your lives, about your unhappiness and lack of ambition, about all the violence hate that you know is present in the world, you will raise your children the same way you were raised by your parents. Your children will know that life is hard and unfair, that people are killing each other, that nothing good will come their way because of all the injustice in the world. You will prepare your children to face with failure and defeat. They will go through life without knowing what they are really worth, without knowing that they have a purpose, we all have and that nobody is here by accident. They would not know it and they will wonder through life without a hope and without a dream. No meaning, no goals, no nothing. You don’t want that. No parent really wants that for his or her child.
There are parents that really don’t know, they don’t realize that this is exactly what they are doing and it’s OK. Nobody is born all knowledgeable. We live and we learn. We have to be open and receptive to everything that might help us and those we love to live a happier life.
So decide right now to change the way you talk to them, to change the way you respond to the many questions that come your way on a daily base from your precious children.
Take time to teach them valuable lessons. Take time to talk to them about the wonderful things that are happening in the world and about the wonderful things that are about to happen. About the things that can happen if we start believing that they can happen. Tell them who they really are and what are they capable of doing because if you don’t do it, if you don’t tell your children who they really are and how much they are worth, somebody else will.
With all my love,
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