“What’s really holding you back while others seem to thrive?” ~ Catherine McCourt
Do you know that on average, we have over 6,000 thoughts per day?
Usually, they are repeated thoughts from one day to the next. And, what is even more astonishing is that approximately 80% of them are negative.
So, no wonder we are holding back on making decisions and changes in our life. We know we can keep thinking about it tomorrow and the next day and the day after that. Which brings me to writing this article…
What’s really holding you back while others seem to thrive?
Is it in your DNA?
Is it FEAR?
Are you too conservative, not a risk taker?
Or, do you simply have trouble making decisions and like things status quo?
What Is Holding You Back?
Now, I am not a Dr. of psychology but I am a transformational coach and someone who works on this with my clients all the time. There are common themes that appear and here are three of them with tips to overcome them.
The 3 Most Powerful Things Holding You Back In Life
Fear is one of the many things that are holding you back, and I am sure you may have heard before. Fear is “FALSE EVIDENCE APPEARING REAL”, but it certainly feels real while it’s happening.
Feeling fear, assessing it then getting to a place of understanding it and moving through it is what I help my clients with. When anxiety creeps in or the “imposter” shows up, it makes us justify or rationalize our fear, we doubt ourselves and it leads to anxiety and gets us stuck.
Fear really is the unknown or maybe it is an experience from your past that feels similar. Generally, it is something you can work through and realize it is just that ‘false evidence appearing real’ and not allow it to be holding you back any longer. So unless you approach it, try it and put it into action you will never know what the outcome or possibilities could be.
To ease fear, make a list of all possibilities:
WHAT WILL HAPPEN IF I ACTUALLY DO THIS?
WHAT WILL HAPPEN IF I DON’T DO THIS?
Now weigh out your results. What is the TRUTH in each? What are you leaning towards? What level of risk are you comfortable with to either take this on or leave it alone? What is your body telling you?
When overwhelm is holding you back, this is when you start thinking of the grand picture.
ALL the things that can happen or need to happen to make this thing, this decision to take place. So, you begin to talk yourself out of it before you even put something on paper. This is usually when the imposter shows up, to talk you into thinking this is just too big a thing to take on right now. You need more time, money and knowledge.
This may very well be true but, the bigger picture is that it is still possible. Big change does not happen overnight and it is a process. Think about building a house. This takes time, planning and money. It isn’t completed overnight. Thinking of all the decisions that have to be made about the finishes, materials, colours, design whoa yes starts feeling overwhelming. But if you tackle each thing effectively as the project roles out you will reduce overwhelm.
So, with proper planning, breaking the project or changing down to digestible steps will help reduce the overwhelm and help you feel all is within reach. The truth is the planning usually begins well before the project is ready to be executed.
Either comparison or listening to other’s opinions holding you back from taking the leap. This happens to us all at times but, some navigate it better than others.
Have you ever heard, “people speak from their own experience?”. This is true along with their opinions. So, would you rather make your own decision for what feels right to you or be held back because something seems scary, or didn’t work out for someone else?
It is one thing to take the advice of someone you love and trust though they are not you. So taking what serves you from their share yet, still move ahead with what works best for you is OK.
Stop comparing yourself to others. This will only leave you feeling far behind or not as capable as they are. Which is likely not the case. Even though you may be chasing the same end result doesn’t mean you will have the exact same path or resources as they have. You are unique and will create your own path to reach what you desire.
What happens when you are driving and you look to the left? Your car veers to the left. So instead focus straight ahead on your goals required to get you to the end and this will keep you on track and not lend your energy to others or those running the race beside you.
Whatever might be holding you back, let it go!
With the right support and guidance you can accomplish most anything and fear is there to help us stop, assess and either progress or change directions.
Don’t be afraid of it, embrace it!