“Nothing hurts more than the sense that the people we care about aren’t really listening. We never outgrow the need to have our feelings known.”~ Michael P. Nichols
If there’s one bad habit that I seem to have picked up in the past year is that of not really listening, or maybe listening with a greater intent to respond instead of actually allowing the person who speaks to say what they have to say.
The Art of Listening
I believe this has come from not having been listened to when I felt like what I had to say mattered and for the past months, I realized I kept interrupting my partner while he was talking to me and that made it a bit difficult for us to communicate at a deeper level. And even though the message did get through in the end, it just made it a bit more difficult for our relationship to grow and for us to become stronger.
I did realize that because I felt like my words weren’t worth listening to in certain areas of my life, such as my job, and a few people I was interacting with, I had to “compensate” and get it all out there in one go at home. But I do believe awareness brings change with it.
“Genuine listening means suspending memory, desire, and judgement and, for a few moments at least, existing for the other person”~ Michael P. Nichols
If we want to be listened to, we need to learn to listen, really listen and help people feel heard, not just heard as in you heard the words that came out of their mouth, but heard in the sense that you feel them, you are trying to understand them and their message reached your heart, not just your ears.
We tend to listen to reply, not to understand, not to make sense of what the other person is trying to communicate, and that’s when relationships get ruined. That’s how we lose the trust of the most important people in our lives because they cannot feel safe enough to speak their minds and hearts.
Because just like Simon Sinek says it in this short video: “There is a big difference between the act of listening and the art of listening.” And if there is one thing I’d like you to learn today, is the great difference the art of listening can make in your life, once you’ve learned to master it.
Watching this video is a very good place to start. 🙂
Simon Sinek On Mastering the Art of Listening and Strengthening Your Relationships
P.S. Pay very close attention to every word in this video because I personally got so much value out of it, that I felt couldn’t just keep it to myself.