When is enough, enough?
You might be a little confused about this question, or you might know exactly what I mean, but allow me to explain anyway.
Lately life has been some sort of a rollercoaster and even though I’ve been reading and listening to a lot of personal development, life, and spiritual books and content, it is still a challenge to be dealing with it all when it hits me. And many times it happens when I am at peace, feeling grateful and experience joy in most aspects of my life.
It’s almost as if I keep being tested. It’s almost as if I need to understand that I still haven’t learned my lessons and there’s much more for me to take in.
It’s almost as if I get too “cocky” in my feel good states and I need to have my feet back on the ground because my balance would be off if I stayed there. Every time it happens I am reminded about what the great Lao Tzu stated so wisely in the Tao Te Ching:
“He who stands on tiptoe
doesn’t stand firm.
He who rushes ahead
doesn’t go far.
He who tries to shine
dims his own light.
He who defines himself
can’t know who he really is.
He who has power over others
can’t empower himself.
He who clings to his work
will create nothing that endures.
If you want to accord with the Tao,
just do your job, then let go.”~ Lao Tzu
When Enough is Enough
There’s nothing wrong with experiencing joy and happiness, bliss and peace, but when experiencing the opposite brings me so much pain, stress, and anxiety, for sure something is not right. Again, not because one shouldn’t experience such beautiful feelings, but because one should experience everything that life brings his way from a place of balance, peace, and discernment. Good or bad, the balance should always be there.
Nothing and no one should have so much power over you that you lose your own peace, balance and inner bliss. You are bigger than any of it, and the moment you realize this, that’s the moment everything changes. Life changes.
It had happened to me so many times to fall in a deep pit of despair and self defeating thoughts, feeling like I will never amount to anything, like my wings were simply cut off and I would have no way to get back up. Yet, every single time I got back up. Every single time I got back up stronger, and wiser.
This year was a challenging one for me and I just feel like I’m still shaking have some leftovers to shake off but I am getting there and that’s because I started saying enough is enough!
How did this happen?
For me ENOUGH was enough when I felt like I couldn’t fall any lower and I decided that was it. I had to pick myself up, dust myself off and LIVE again. Not that I had ever stopped, but living in the real sense of the word. Living in Love, Joy, Peace and Freedom.
For me ENOUGH was enough when I felt like there needs to be more to life than the struggles, the lacking, the emptiness and the need to fill that eternal void from my Soul with things of the world.
Looking back a few months, for me ENOUGH was enough when I was sitting on the bathroom floor, crying my eyes and heart out, and I was there because I didn’t want my feelings to “disturb” the people in the house. That was a very low point in my life and nobody should be hiding themselves in their vulnerable moments just because others might not be comfortable with it, or might not know how to deal with it.
“Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.” ~ Brené Brown
It takes lots of courage and strength to show yourself in your most vulnerable moments, and if you have to hide yourself during these moments, then who are you?
For me ENOUGH was enough when I decided that what other people do, say to me and about me, is not a reflection of who I am, but a reflection of who they themselves are. You’ll never be able to make everyone happy and you shouldn’t even have to. We’re all so beautifully different and once we accept one another and stop trying to fit everyone in a mould, that’s when life really gets exciting.
For me ENOUGH was enough when I decided to be free. Free from what other people expect or project onto me, free from what I “should” have already done at my age and why I didn’t do it. Free from the past and the people in it and free from the ideas I had created in my mind about how my life should have been by now.
Sometimes people ask me more personal questions and lately I’ve just been thinking I shouldn’t have to explain whether I’m in a relationship, or why I’m not married, why I don’t have a family yet, and I can go on forever.
My life is mine to live and as long as my choices do not harm anyone, I shouldn’t have to justify any of it to anyone, right?
I do my best to live a life that’s in alignment with my values, in alignment with Love, Discernment, Kindness, and I know I have been challenged and tested this year, but I refuse to give up. I refuse to be bitter instead of better. So I do better with what I have learned from life and do it in such a way that it improves not only my life, but also the lives of those around me.
Here’s to that!
From where I stand right now, I cannot say this journey to living a better life will be smooth, however, what I do know is that no matter what is coming my way, sooner or later, I will be able to get through it. Any life challenge is a life lessons, as long as we are willing to learn and I am.