“Some people just have anxiety and depression, and these lead to self defeating thoughts. Negative or racing thoughts can definitely lead to you not accomplishing your goals, and the other symptoms of depression or anxiety certainly don’t help.” ~ Iva Ursano

“Well, well, well, if it isn’t the consequences of my own actions.”

The famous tweet amassed almost half a million likes and retweets, prompting various memes and other mediums of pop culture to make a relatable joke at their own expense. But we’ve all been there; victim to our own choices- be them calculated or otherwise. Sometimes, it was worth it! Others take us by complete surprise.

How can this be?

Self Defeating Thoughts

We have all seen somebody fit the stereotype. Maybe it’s in our own lives, maybe it’s someone from reality TV, but this person is their own biggest enemy. They can’t seem to help shooting themselves in the foot in either their actions, their words, or their mind.

They always seem to be getting in their own way, in either the short or long term.

But why?

So many people do things that they know are bad for them. Everyone who smokes cigarettes knows that they are harmful to our bodies, but people choose to smoke them anyway. Everyone knows fast food is bad for you, but the drive-thru has long lines anyway.

Everyone knows staying up late is bad for you, but we all tend to do it and chug coffee in the morning anyways.

Those are self defeating practices, that are ignited by self defeating thoughts, no?

How to Overcome Your Self Defeating Thoughts Once and For All

Even though they may feel good in the moment, most of us feel that itch in the back of our head suggesting “maybe I shouldn’t be doing this.” To me, that only begs the question: why do so many people choose to be self defeating?

I mean, that’s the question we need to answer before we can come up with a solution, right?

Well, as proven in the paragraph above, it’s almost never a lack of knowledge, rather, it’s a lack of motivation. Or, lack of caring.

Falling into bad habits and becoming “self defeating” is so common because it is so easy. Think about it: how much easier is it to get takeout, or fast food? Versus shop for, prepare, cook, and eat a healthy homemade meal?

How much easier is it to inebriate yourself versus addressing the problems you so badly want to escape?

How much easier is it to watch adult movies versus learning how to properly invest in a meaningful
relationship?

How much easier is it to work in some comfortable but meaningless job versus finding out what your passion is, how to achieve it, and sacrificing so that you may one day make it a career?

The reason why so many people fall into the traps of self-defeatism is because it’s so much more tempting than the alternative. Sure, everyone wants to be the successful mogul who always has something going on, but how many are willing to put in the work for it?

How many are prepared to put in the practice, learning the skills it requires to become successful?

“Oh, my. How many people are hurting themselves because of their negative, polluted and repetitive self-defeating mindset? Don’t believe everything that your mind is telling you – especially if it’s negative and self-defeating. You are better than that.”~ Luminita D. Saviuc

We are quick to start pointing fingers when we learn these uncomfortable truths. “It’s the fault of humanity for advancing to the point where everything is so cushy” you may think. “It’s my fault because I’m so weak” those voices in our heads may start.

The good news is: once you have this “red pill” moment and realize the self-destructive cycle we continually find ourselves in, we are hyper-motivated to stop them and begin on the path of self-improvement to rectify this situation.

But…self Improvement…personal growth… Such abstract concepts these days, aren’t they?

So over-saturated in our culture that we nearly forget their meaning. I tell you; the catalyst of self-improvement is self awareness. The awareness of oneself, awareness of the world you inhabit, an awareness of where you are, where you have been, and where you can go.

So, I challenge you to be aware. Be aware of how and why you think. Acknowledge what you’re doing and why you’re doing it. Live everyday being intentional so that your life doesn’t become accidental. Don’t stumble through life ending up wherever it may take you. Don’t “go with the flow.”

Create a strategy to improve your life. Figure out what areas in which you lack- areas you find to be self defeating, and organize a way to make meaningful change. Whether it be physical, mental, financial, or spiritual, properly identify your bad habits so that you may begin to improve upon them. Improve so that you may go on to impact others.

Grow so you can be a good example to your kids or those around you. Live with intentionality so that every day you can be better than the “you” you were yesterday and conquer whatever it is that holds you back. Self Improvement is the catalyst of long lasting and systemic personal growth.

Capitalize on the mini battles until those snowball into major victories. Let those major victories change you and your life for the better. Slowly but surely work those dreams into reality using your newfound lifestyle as a springboard. Keep growing, keep improving, and before you know it, you’ll be miles ahead of where you once were.

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