“Those who only look outside, searching for answers and confirmation, will never know the true meaning of self-trust.” ~ Rania Kubba
I understand that sometimes life is unclear and can confuse us. That’s why we may tend to look at other people for answers and confirmation. Quick answers and preferably clear confirmation from others.
In our society we have learned that when someone else approves of you (parents, teachers, managers) it must be really important, because all these people are ultimately wiser than us (we think). And that’s why, instead of focusing on self-trust, we keep running in the same vicious circle. In a circle in which the opinion of the other is stronger and more valuable than the opinion of ourselves.
Of course, other loving people can help and advise us, because sometimes it is really a mystery to us and these precious souls can contribute in our quest. But that doesn’t always have to be the case.
It is so much more satisfying and emancipating to have self-trust. To be able to come up with an answer about your own life and to genuinely believe in your own philosophy. For the truth is, whoever always keeps looking outside for answers, will never really live the life that the heart has whispered and longed for all this time. So the question is my dear darling, what do you want, what do you think, what do you feel?
10 Great Ways to Build Self-Trust
1. Meditate your way to self-trust.
Take the time to be alone and look within in peace. What do you feel, what do you think? Sometimes the answers are already within you, but you have not been able to hear them because of the pressure and distractions of the outside world, and also because of your own mental turmoil.
The more tired you are, the more unclear and confusing things can seem. By resting well and smart, you calm yourself down. And the calmer you are, the better you can handle everything.
3. Don’t take this world too seriously.
Understand that life is not made to have all the answers. Life isn’t made to be perfect either.
Even if it means you may fail. It is better to be able to say that you have listened to yourself and tried something, than to keep asking yourself: what if…
5. We all make mistakes on our own journey.
That’s NORMAL and even GOOD! Those who have never made a mistake have never given themselves the opportunity to learn something new.
6. Ask yourself regularly what consequence you can continue to live with.
The consequence of numbing your own wishes and needs or the consequence of not always meeting society’s expectations. What consequence are you at peace with? Because of course there will always be disadvantages, but if you are at peace with your chosen disadvantage then there is also no loss.
7. Realize that at the end of the day everyone is doing their own business.
So no matter how well-meaning the opinions of others are, ultimately this is not their life, but yours. We all have our own lives and the right to shape it ourselves.
8. Take small steps, and keep doing this.
This way you build a bond of self-trust and you go your way at a comfortable pace. Yes, it’s important to jump into the deep end once in a while, but who says it shouldn’t go in a comfortable way? The finer and lighter the steps, the better you can handle them.
At the end of the day you move forward and that’s what it’s all about. Not how fast you’re going, but that you’re moving forward at all.
9. Reward yourself
By complimenting yourself and celebrating your successes.
10. Ask yourself what is more important.
The next time you find yourself in a situation where you prefer advice, ask yourself what is more important. Is it really important to get an answer from someone else because you are in need of time, or genuinely don’t know what to do. Or do you have time to think for yourself?
If you have the time, take it first to come up with an answer yourself. If not, you can always orient yourself to the different answers of other people you trust, because maybe they can help you to form your own answer. But from now on, don’t assume the answers of others as the only truth. Research it first. Only you know what the truth is for you and that’s something you deserve to remember from now on!