You can learn how to thrive regardless of whatever external conditions you may face…
Many of us can admit to having such a profound connection with others and the world around us that we tend to feel things so deeply. One may try to describe this intense passion for life through the metaphor of carrying an emotional weight that’s twice the size of an average adult human heart.
Sadly, this is a question that doesn’t get much attention, despite the fact that it’s a reality for so many people. People who feel things more deeply than the majority tend to suffer behind closed doors, while the rest of the world wonders why they’ve become so quiet.
Relentless doubt and distress can be triggered by seemingly insignificant actions such as a cold look, an unhelpful shrug, or the moment of silence when you are ignored. On the other hand, a kind smile, helpful hand, or a reassuring nod can be intensely invigorating, restoring a sense of faith in humanity.
Let’s look at two key areas of life where the sting may be particularly strong, and how to thrive regardless of whatever external conditions you may face.
The highs and lows of being in love
When you’re a person that feels everything so deeply, love is like a double-edged sword. Loving someone who loves you back is a feeling of ecstasy and delight. You appreciate every part of the journey with your loved one – the awkward excitement at the beginning, the bond that grows as you get to know that person, and the sense of mutual understanding that grows with commitment. Your ability to feel emotions so deeply makes you a truly loving partner who constantly nurtures the relationship, appreciating every expression of affection and trust.
But the reality is that relationships aren’t always so rosy, and for someone who feels things so deeply – when it rains it pours. Because when you love someone who doesn’t love you back – you feel that so deeply too.
Such rejection can lead to countless nights overthinking, and wishful thoughts that things will somehow change. Even if you’re in a long-term relationship, you can become overwhelmed by doubt and relationship anxiety when you experience conflict or notice any signs that your partner is drifting away. When you lose someone you love, you feel it as deeply as if you had lost a part of yourself.
The pressure of achievement
People who feel intense bursts of passion for life can sometimes also be too hard on themselves. The feeling that the world is your oyster can lead to a perfectionist approach to life. When you fail to meet certain goals, you might momentarily experience the feeling of drowning in disappointment.
Many times in life we have to deal with the stark realization that we are not where we had hoped we’d be weeks, months, or years ago. Feeling things so deeply can mean that you frequently take things personally, too. Especially when you instinctively associate the outcomes of your efforts with your sense of identity. A remark that someone makes about your work may repeatedly play on your mind, leading you to shed a tear when you find a moment alone.
Entrepreneurs often identify with the pressure of achievement on another level. Your business is like your baby, so failure and rejection can really pull at your heartstrings. However, when you succeed, it can feel as though you’re on cloud nine. You remember each ounce of sweat and hard work you put into your business, each milestone along the way, and you feel truly proud and grateful for how far you’ve come.
How to Thrive Despite Feeling Everything So Deeply
How do you maintain your inner peace and harmony when you’re someone who feels things so deeply?
Through my career in personal development, I’ve seen that it has a lot to do with the choices we make on a daily basis.
Each morning you wake up, you get to choose the attitude that will frame the rest of your day, and you can choose to be positive.
Yes – focus on the blessings of being someone who feels things so deeply.
Think about the powerful connections you are able to make with others because you care. Reflect on the nuances of the human experience that you enjoy because you value both the major and seemingly insignificant moments in life.
Make peace with the fact that you can only control yourself, never another person. Become a beacon of love and light by loving intensely without expecting anything in return. Not everyone will respond the way you want, but that’s okay. Remember that just as C.S Lewis said it so beautifully,
“Love is never wasted, for its value does depend upon reciprocity.” ~ C.S Lewis.
Learn to take breaks when you feel overwhelmed. Learn from the empowering insights of individuals who have had to overcome challenges and disappointments on the road to success. Most importantly, don’t take things too personally. Use constructive criticism to grow and improve, but keep moving forward and don’t hold on to negativity.
In conclusion, in order to thrive in the world as someone who feels things so deeply, embrace the wonderful ability you have to make a deep emotional connection with your surroundings. Continue to learn and immerse yourself in new experiences. Keep an open mind and be brave, knowing that any moments of pain and anguish you experience will eventually be replaced with peace, serenity, and a heightened understanding of the world.