“You have to love yourself first so somebody else could love you as well.”
We heard it said a million times over and it’s true. Until we learn to be happy on our own, it’s almost impossible to sustain a happy relationship with anyone else.
Still, there is something that hardly anyone tells you: self awareness is even more important than self-love. It helps you have the life you always wanted for yourself, which directly transfers to your love life.
So what is self awareness exactly?
It’s the ability to see yourself clearly. It’s a part of your emotional intelligence that enables you to see what’s going on inside your mind and feelings. It’s the moment you become aware of your behavior towards other people and towards yourself.
Also, self awareness means that you are being brutally honest with yourself about everything you are: your strengths, weaknesses, beliefs, and presumptions, and the effects that all has on the people in your life.
Once you know who you are, you can develop a healthy relationship with yourself. You love your strong points and virtues, but you also know that there are some things that need work.
5 Great Ways in Which Self Awareness Influences Your Love Life
You see, self awareness makes you an amazing partner and person to be with. The more you explore yourself and your behavior, the more you are able to rationally see the big picture, the more successful you’ll be in life and love.
To make things more clear, take a look at how self awareness influences you and therefore your love life:
1. You realize that you are responsible for your own happiness
A lot of people today seek happiness in their love relationships. They depend on their significant others to make them happy and complete.
By doing that, they place a great burden on their partner. They feel responsible for their happiness or lack thereof, which over time suffocates the relationship.
But if you are truly self-aware, you know you create your own happiness and your partner is there to add to it. The case is similar is with sadness and bitterness of life; you know your partner isn’t there to save you, but to be alongside you while you save yourself.
That gives you a great foundation for your relationship because even though you are independent and take full responsibility for your thoughts, feelings, and actions, you have someone who shows you his support through all types of hugs and simply by being there. And that’s more than enough.
2. You live in the moment
Before you become self-aware, overthinking is your enemy. You get so distracted by fears and hypothetical situations that haven’t happened yet that you don’t enjoy your relationship fully.
Instead of looking for undeniable signs that he likes you in his actions, you look for clues where everything will start going wrong.
One the other hand, when you master the art of self awareness, you are able to enjoy your relationship here and now. You block all the negative thoughts that have no real basis and you are concentrated on being actually present in mind and spirit.
3. You are not afraid to own up to your mistakes and apologize
The beauty of being self-aware is that you are not perfect and the way you handle that fact is actually perfect.
When you and your partner get into a fight, you will take a moment to reflect and ask yourself, “Is everything really his fault?” If it is, you won’t budge until you prove your point, and if it isn’t, you will apologize and make sure you never repeat something that might hurt him.
You are looking for all the ways in which you can make yourself a better person and improve your relationship. You are more concentrated on solving problems that you and your partner have and improving your communication than on winning the argument.
4. Your empathic nature is a crucial factor in your relationship
With a self-aware person, it’s not all about “Me, myself, and I.” You take the other person’s feelings into account.
You think about how your actions affect them. You know when to be there for them, and that sometimes just being present in their life is enough to comfort them and make them feel less alone in their pain.
Self awareness is big on self-love, but it’s never selfish. It’s always full of empathy and love for others, especially for that one special someone.
When you are self-aware, you feel like you have no other choice but to be honest. That’s why you make sure to always be truthful with yourself as well as your partner.
You don’t sweep problems you two have as a couple under the carpet, hoping they will pass. You confront them and discuss them with your significant other.
You don’t beat yourself up for your flaws. You are aware of them and work on them, but at the end of the day, you know you are only human and you are not supposed to be impeccable.
That’s pretty much the same way you see your partner. You don’t burden him with expectations of perfection; you accept him for who he is. All you ask is that he be as honest with you and himself as you are.