The stories we tell ourselves are powerful. Sometimes it takes some of us awhile to realize, but we may have unconsciously used our childhood wounds and life experiences to shape the rest of our path and to control the decisions we make. This can mean that many of us feel we have to be victims. We may not consciously realize we’re doing this, but when we awaken to the true power within us, that’s when the magic happens, because we realize we are NOT our stories.
Our life story is just that, a story, but our empowerment lies in how we choose to take ownership of and write each chapter.
What if we began to think differently about our life events and use them as tools to help us grow and to serve others, rather than worrying and wondering WHY something happened TO us?
Maybe without realizing it, you’ve allowed yourself to become a victim of life and a victim of your own story?
If so, I can relate.
Over the years I’ve allowed many experiences to shape who I am and at times hold me back. I allowed a spiritual teacher who showed up on my path to control and manipulate me and make me think my decisions were wrong or that people around me were bad for me. I also uncovered that I held deep-seated beliefs from birth that my opinions and my voice weren’t valid in the world after being born with the umbilical cord around my neck and struggling in loving communication with my Mother throughout my life.
Many of us may have experienced trauma or difficult phases of our lives that we have not yet healed or come to terms with, but the beauty in our darker or more challenging experiences comes when we learn to see the deeper reasons for why it all occurred and that we are here to learn and grow from these experiences, instead of allowing them to keep us stuck.
Change Your Story and Change Your Life
If you feel stuck or trapped in any way in your life right now, here are a few simple ways to begin to change your story and use it to empower you to move forward:
1. Become aware of the language you use.
I used to be a person who would say “I can’t” or “This happened to me” and I have worked with many clients who I instantly pick up on as doing the same. The reality is that when we are stuck in this way of thinking about our lives, we are feeding our subconscious with our same negative beliefs that will keep the story running in the same direction.
A simple way to break this pattern is to reframe the words we use, whether they are internal or out loud. For instance, instead of saying that something “happened to us”, we can start saying that it “happened FOR us”. This is an empowering way of viewing each of our experiences, whether good or bad, as beautiful gifts. From this space, we may be able to quickly see how we can either move on from that part of our story with gratitude, or even how we might be able to use the experience to help others.
It’s important to remember that what we focus on manifests and builds, so if we’re focusing on debt or a person that hurt us or anything else that’s been keeping us feeling low, that is what we’ll attract more of. I for one know how difficult it can be to keep positive through a tough transition, but the sooner we can begin to focus on what we want to create, our energy begins to shift and we can begin to see things differently. When we focus on the future through things like creating a vision board, learning a new skill, or meeting new people, the past begins to dissipate and our feelings and emotions and then our story begins to change.
Ask yourself “How long do I want to keep this old story alive so that it controls my future?”
You’ll find that focusing on a simple and intelligent question like that will inspire you to shift your focus faster.
3. Write a new story, literally.
A big block that comes up with people I work with is usually around money, and there are obviously a lot of old hurts and emotions attached to our beliefs about money, so one of the first things I do is suggest clients write a new money story. But we can write out our new future story regarding anything to do with how we’d like our lives to move forward.
This starts by literally writing out how we’d like our days to look from start to finish, where we might be living, what we’re doing and building, what kind of work we’re doing, who we’re doing that work with, and the types of things we’re doing for fun. Many of us have kept our limiting stories alive because we’ve assumed we have to settle, but literally writing out a new story creates momentum around our future, what we want to create, and who we want to call in to support us in our new vision.
4. Get support in moving forward.
Changing our old patterns of thinking that no longer serve us is no easy task because most of us have been conditioned with them since being young, and in my case, since birth. So it’s important to surround ourselves with the right support and encouragement as we embark on this courageous work. This might not be friends or family when we are doing deeper healing of old wounds, so I always recommend individuals seek out a therapist or mentor who they resonate with and use their intuition to guide them to finding the right person who can support them. I have done my personal healing with practitioners such as iRest Yoga Nidra trainers, private and NHS therapists, as well as ‘The Journey’ practitioners.
I wish you love, light, and courage as you bravely change your story and return to the powerful person you have always been.