Most people walk through life carrying the heavy baggage of self-doubt. It drains their happiness, stops them dead in their tracks, and compels them to spend their lives never realizing their full potential. While we all feel this way at one point in our lives or another, some people just feel it more frequently than the rest of us.
Deep down inside, people who doubt themselves feel that they lack some essential quality that is required for success in life; be that in relationships, career, business or personal life. They perpetually worry about loved ones leaving them, their business failing or their career halting. Unfortunately, self-doubt often becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. The opposite is also true.
Confidence helps shape a more positive life for you. You are in control and it feels that your path is laid out clearly in front of you. Dear readers, confidence is that amazing feeling that makes all the difference between feeling unsure and feeling powerful. When you take action to feel more confident in yourself, your life also turns out better.
The best thing about confidence is that it makes you feel awesome. It improves your decision-making skills, people are drawn to you in social situations, you produce high-quality work more frequently, you start listening to your gut feeling and it almost always points you in the right direction.
If you’re someone who constantly struggles with low self-esteem, I have good news. You can change how you think and relate to yourself. Self-doubt becomes entrenched in the first place when a person actively maintains painful experiences and negative self-perception.
Here are the five ways you can silence your inner critique, solidify your friendship with yourself and regain confidence in the amazing and wonderful person you really are.
1. Let Go of Self-Criticism
Learn to ignore the voice in your head that says you aren’t good enough. And as you continue to ignore it, you’ll find that it grows weak and is eventually silenced. It’s a little challenging in the beginning, but it’s totally worth it.
Start by changing the negative comments you hear in your head into positive ones. The minute the voice in your head says something critical or gives you visuals of say, you slipping on the stage during your presentation – flip it and imagine you getting a standing ovation after your presentation. You’ll immediately regain confidence.
2. Get Out of Your Comfort Zone
You always learn something new when you get out of your comfort zone. And when you constantly and consciously push the barriers of what’s comfortable for you, you will develop an innate confidence in yourself and your abilities. Even doing something seemingly small, like running for 20 minutes, will make a big difference and over time transform into something big. So take that first step.
How many times have you dimmed your ‘light’ so that you are not judged, criticized or rejected? We predict the negative consequences we will face if we were to act boldly. The fear of rejection is so strong that it makes you feel as if you’re incapable of expressing your opinions at all.
Wayne Dyer believes that if you were to ask 30 people what they think of you, you are likely to find out that you have 30 different reputations. Learn to witness others’ opinions without getting attached to them.
Also, when you constantly focus on what others are thinking about you, you are inhibiting yourself. If you want to truly realize the life you want – do yourself a favor and stop worrying so much about others. Otherwise, you will continue to hold yourself back.
3. Surround Yourself with Supportive People
No one, not even the best, the most confident, the most successful, can do it on their own. Sometimes all of us need a little reassurance and we all have people in our lives who do that for us. Identify the people who’ve always been there for you and who tell you just how awesome you are because. Focus your energy on nurturing the relationships with these people and draw confidence from them.
On the other hand, if you constantly feel insecure, look around you and observe; is it because of a toxic relationship? Is someone continuously trying to bring you down? Is someone close to you always angry, controlling and unhappy because you aren’t doing enough?
If yes, then its time to let go of people who drag you down. You need to realize that some people simply have draining and negative personalities that won’t change no matter what you do.
This is one advice that I reaped the benefits of myself. There are days when we feel great about ourselves and then there are days that we don’t. On the days that you aren’t feeling your best, I advise you ‘fake it until you make it’.
As the phrase suggests, you have to pretend or act ‘as if’ you feel confident. Let’s say you’re presenting in front of your colleagues or going on a date with a new person and not feeling up for it – share your dilemma with a friend. And then go and look at yourself in the mirror – I mean really look into your eyes and lovingly say this, ‘I know you can do this’. Then go right ahead and take action.
The starting point of anything great and worthwhile in life is to have a healthy relationship with the self. Start treating yourself better. Be more understanding and loving towards yourself. You are deserving of success, happiness and love as much as anyone else in the world. Accepting this fact will make it easier to change your thoughts when you feel low. And by doing all of these things, you will regain confidence and feel so much better about yourself and your life.