I’m sure at some point in your life, you’ve felt anger.
Whether it was because someone did something that hurt you, whether you walked away from an argument that you didn’t enjoy, or if you had a bad encounter with a stranger outside, there have been times in your life where you felt like lashing out, or responding with strong emotions.
I understand that feeling, and I’ve felt that way several times. I don’t think it would be wrong to say that I will continue to encounter those feelings in the future as well.
While it’s understandable that you want to give in to those emotions, it’s most likely not the right action for yourself, the people around you, and the community as a whole.
Yet you’re feeling anger because you feel hurt and offended. It’s a natural response, because you feel like people should be more understanding, and you want to show them why what they did was wrong. You feel threatened, and you instinctively want to remove the threat.
Instead of expressing the anger right there and then, it’s better to hold it back and let it go in other ways that will not only help you release your anger, but also help you deal with it in a constructive manner.
1. Remove Yourself From The Situation As Soon As Possible
Anger tends to show itself when you remain in a situation where your mind thinks you are in danger and need to act. Insisting on standing your ground by not budging only gives your mind a greater chance of giving into anger.
Instead of staying around, leave as quickly as possible. Don’t think of it as running away, think of it as leaving a situation that is going to turn ugly if you remain there too long.
Withdraw your pride for a time where you actually need it. For some issues, it is better to just walk away than do something that you might regret.
2. Go Out And Move Your Body
Your body is most likely feeling the effects of adrenaline pumping throughout your body. This energizes you, allowing you to respond when you are threatened. If you have left the situation that made you angry, you have all that energy inside of you that needs to be released.
Exercise is the best way to get rid of the excess energy and calm down. You can go running, swimming, or go to the gym. It doesn’t have to be intense; you can go for a walk or clean up your home.
Get the energy out of your system, because it will affect your mindset and will continue to make you angry as long as you feel you should have done something.
3. Think About The Incident After Calming Down
Unfortunately, you can’t just walk away from the angry feeling in your mind. But once you’ve had some time to calm your body down and reassure yourself that nothing else is going to make you angry, now is the time to think back to what made you angry.
It sounds counter-intuitive, but if you honestly didn’t care too much, the incident wouldn’t have made you angry. Rather than running from what happened and never reviewing it, allow yourself the chance to think about what happened, and why things happened the way they did.
You might still feel angry, but as you are removed from the incident, you can approach the situation in a calm manner, and apply rational logic now that you aren’t in a fight-or-flight mindset.
Perhaps what happened was just an accident, and someone genuinely wasn’t trying to make you angry. It could be that there was a misunderstanding, and both sides reacted before information was clarified.
Once you have had the time to think, you will realize how you felt, remember what made you feel that way, and show you that you acted appropriately.
4. Prepare Yourself For Next Time
Just because you’ve calmed yourself down once doesn’t mean you’re never going to get angry about it again. Anger tends to show itself in unexpected times, and if you never address the problem, you might accidentally lash out when you weren’t expecting it.
If what made you angry was just a one-time event, like an unfortunate meeting with a stranger, tell yourself that it was just an unlucky moment and put it behind you. Things happen, and not all of them will be good. It’s not worth hanging on to one bad moment.
If someone hurt you badly, talk to them about it. Now that you are calmer, you might be able to reach an agreement, rather than lash out with physical violence. Tackle the situation peacefully, and you might be able to come to a lasting solution.
Don’t just leave the situation so that you can feel angry about it later. Do something about it so that anger doesn’t have a chance to show its head at an inopportune moment.
5. Do Your Best To Control Your Anger
It would be too much to ask to you to not get angry again. It’s going to happen as many times are you will be happy in your life.
However, acting on impulse is rarely the best thing for people. There’s a time and place for everything, but there aren’t many appropriate times for anger.
Learn to release your anger, and you might find yourself feeling better that you are able to control your anger in a positive way.
You’ll also impress people by showing them that instead of giving in to your emotions, you are willing to approach issues with a level head and a calm outlook.
With all my love,
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Victor Tan
Victor Tan writes to helps people overcome their weaknesses to be a better public speaker. He does this by helping people with self-improvement and teaching them proper speaking techniques. You can find him at his website, Spirit On Stage, Facebook and Twitter.
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