We have a lot more control over our reality than we often believe we do. Letting go of social expectations, and the idea that life is a linear course can give you the space to make your own decisions about what is good. Can allow you to get to know yourself with more freedom without judgment. Listening to our intuition, that feeling inside of us that tells us when something is right and when something is wrong, can reveal a lot about who we are and what we need —often this is what we least expect it to be.
Here are five skills that will help you tap into your intuition and create your own reality:
The next time you catch yourself thinking something along the lines of, “I should be doing …(insert expectation of self here)”, or “I should already know…(insert arbitrary level of knowledge here), ask yourself where this expectation is coming from. Is it really yours? Or does it come from somewhere else?
We are taught social expectations from the moment we’re born. We must have certain experiences checked off by a certain age; we must desire to accomplish certain things throughout our life. The “ideal” life is one that is linear, career centered and family focused—whether it is good for us or not.
I’ll let you in on a little secret, life is not linear! Life is a big mishmash of opportunities and events and emotions and lessons, and we are constantly being diverted from whatever pathway we feel like we’re on. But, luckily there is always another pathway, and sometimes its upside down or inside out or gives us inhuman momentum to push ourselves, and other times it’s draining and we’re being rained on and we’re walking through mud with baggy pants on.
Often the right direction for us is completely different from what has been socially constructed. So let’s just forget about basically everything we’ve been taught! Because striving to conform to a predetermined, and linear set of milestones will almost certainly steer us in the wrong direction. Let’s take a moment to figure out what we ourselves want.
2. Tap into Your Intuition Through Self Acceptance
Who are you? No. Who are you really? I’m not talking about the ways in which you’ve conformed to social expectations, and I’m not talking about the steps you might want to take to follow a predetermined life path. I’m talking about the person deep down inside of you. I’m talking about all of the parts of yourself that you might sometimes notice trying to surface, the parts that make you feel insecure, the parts that you quickly shove away—out of fear, or out of shame perhaps. If we were to strip expectations, pressures and the insecurities that come with them away, what is it that you want?
Who are you now? We may even find new parts of ourselves surfacing over the course of our entire lives. It is so important to give ourselves the freedom to explore who we are. We may find we have significant interests, desires, and intrigues that we spent much of our lives defining ourselves against. Being open to who we really are—and allowing that person to change—is integral to creating our own reality.
Don’t stop exploring! Growth and self discovery is not exclusive to being “young”. Why not let the process of self discovery keep us youthful?
3. Find Validation
Feeling validation for different parts of ourselves is integral to our sense of security and stability. Not to mention, the people around us are a huge part of what shapes our internal and external realities. Although, we can’t have all parts of ourselves validated all the time, it’s a nice idea to strive to have some of the most important parts of who we are feel validated. How do we go about doing this?
Well, first, finding ways to validate ourselves is difficult to achieve, but an incredible skill to have. This might mean pursuing a hobby independently, or being okay with a passion remaining a hobby. This may also mean, developing thought patterns that are positive and accepting when we reflect back upon ourselves.
Another way to seek validation is to find like minded people. What sorts of small communities are accessible to you? Sports? Arts? Online? Communities are everywhere. We also have the capacity within ourselves to create them! Bring a few great people together and share some experiences with them. We absorb one another’s energies and support systems are vital for journeying through life.
How many times have you found yourself in a less than desirable situation, but telling yourself things like, “Oh, it’s okay? It’s familiar!” Is it okay? Is familiarity always a good reason to stay where we are? Sometimes, yes, maybe. But it’s important to be able to recognize the difference between healthy and unhealthy familiarity. If we can practice this, we can work towards shifting parts of our lives in order to create a more desired reality.
There’s no need to sugarcoat it, change is scary and difficult! But, sometimes we might actually be mistaking the fear of change for the fear of that space in-between what is familiar in the present and what will become familiar in the future. We fear that space of unfamiliarity, that space that’s so uncomfortable and unknown.
Here’s a trick for you: having a strong support system in place, and being open with the people around you about how you’re feeling while enduring this unfamiliar space is vital! I can’t stress this one enough, support from the people around us is the most powerful thing we can possess. With consistency and stability coming from the people around us, big and small changes can be handled with greater ease.
We’ve talked a lot about letting go of social expectations, and looking within ourselves to understand who we really are. But when we have an inkling of an idea, what then? How do we know if it’s right? Well, does it feel right?
Our feelings will reveal so much for us. A lot more, at times, that the thoughts in our heads. So, listen to your gut, that feeling inside of you. Your thoughts are influenced by so many external factors: your past, society, cultural and familial pressures. Listen to your gut, find the things that make you feel at home. They will so often not be what or who you think they’re going to be. But, that’s part of the fun of it too! We can go on living for years with this idea in mind of what is the right thing for us, who is the right partner, the right job, the right place to live.
We might even have these things pictured in our minds with impeccable detail. But then one day, WHAM! Life smacks us right in the face and all of our senses turn upside down, and all of our feelings are fluttering over someone or something that makes absolutely no logical sense in our minds to be the right thing. But, oh my goodness, is it wonderful! It feels so good! But why!
Does it matter why? Does it really matter why a thing feels right? If it’s healthy, maybe we should just leave it. Maybe we should just forget so many of the details we’ve been telling ourselves are necessary for us to possess in order to live the “right” kind of life. Maybe we should just let the thing that makes no logical sense in our brains be the right thing simply because it feels like the right thing.
So what makes you feel at home? You can share your comment in the comment section below 🙂