When we are feeling bad we start to panic and assume we’re stuck there. We can’t see any way out of our situation and our negative thoughts can drive up deeper into that pain. We forget that we have some choice over how we feel.
We need to make space to heal, to grieve and to let anything that needs to come up have a voice. But we can accept how we might be feeling and not resist it, whilst simultaneously setting the intention for how we’d like to be feeling instead. We can remind ourselves that it’s possible to feel different, even if external circumstances don’t change.
One of the best questions any of us can ask ourselves is ‘How do I want to feel?’
Trying to control anything or anyone else is futile and a waste of energy. But we have so much more power over how we want to feel than we realize.
When we start tuning into our bodies we often realize there are a lot of uncomfortable emotions that we’ve suppressed and unconsciously pushed out of our awareness over the years. For most of us there will be varying levels of fear, anger, and grief. We need to do our best to be with the discomfort this can bring and sit with these physical sensations as they arise. If we can be with them unconditionally we’ll go a long way towards integrating these old wounds and emotions that are keeping us stuck and affecting our current realities more than we realize.
Emotions need to flow. Emotions are energy in motion and we need to feel that energy and let it move through us so that it doesn’t block the way to other things we would like more of.
We can feel whatever needs to be felt physically, at any given moment. But we can also ask ‘What would I like to be feeling instead?’
Sit with the intention to feel a certain way and start to cultivate those feelings in your body.
Experiment and have some fun with it this week!
Realize that no matter what is happening externally you always have the option of being kind to yourself, and you always have the opportunity to start thinking about how you’d like to be feeling instead.
We often think we want certain things. But it’s the feeling states attached to those things that we’re really after. So how do you think the things you want would make you feel? And how can you start bringing more of these feelings into your life, the way it is now?
You have power over this.
When you start thinking about the way you want to feel and trying to cultivate some of those feelings in your body, you’re a massive step closer to having what you want.
So dwell there often. And realize the feelings you want are already there within you. You don’t have to stress or strain or go out and get them. You just have to bring them to life.
Work on following these five steps to feeling your way towards anything you want:
1. Get into a comfortable position and breathe slowly and deeply. Gently bring your attention back to your breath anytime you notice your mind has wandered.
2. Feel what is present physically: any tension, discomfort or internal physical sensations. Be with these physical sensations and give them your full attention, alongside your breath. Don’t try to change them – just allow them to be there, knowing that they’re emotional energy that needs to be felt and attended to. Know that being with any physical sensations, no matter how uncomfortable, won’t hurt you. If any insights come to mind make a note of them and then come back to your physical awareness.
3. Next, think about what you’d like to be feeling instead. Use your mind as a creative tool to imagine a positive outcome you’re hoping for in any area of your life. Imagine what this outcome would feel like. Really let yourself sink into this vision and let the good feelings flood your whole body. Linger in this state for as long as you want to, knowing that like attracts like and that by feeling what we want physically, we’ll start behaving in ways that will attract more and more things that give us a similar resonance or feeling.
4. Note down anything that comes up so you can start to notice patterns in the feelings you want when you imagine outcomes in different areas of your life.
5. Get on with your day and let go of doing anything to make the outcome you’re hoping to happen in any particular way. Trust that the feelings you desire will be delivered to you in the perfect way, at the perfect time. Keep returning to these physical sensations often and remember you always have a say in how you want to feel.
Don’t limit yourself. Allow things to be rearranged and delivered to you in ways you could never have conceived of yourself.
Focusing on how we want to feel brings us back to our hearts and what we truly desire, to the essence of who we are. It cuts through all the things that are conditioned or socially imposed on us. It leads to the truth. So be sure to set your intentions.
How do you want to feel? This is the best compass you have.