When I first created the PurposeFairy blog, I didn’t expect anyone to read my articles, let alone ask me to write a book. I created PurposeFairy for me. The blog was going to be my therapy, an outlet for turning the energy of the many painful things I was going through at that time, into a ritual for positive self-improvement and personal growth. But when it happened, when life sent me the opportunity to write a book based on my phenomenally popular blog post with the same title, 15 Things You Should Give Up to Be Happy, I realized that everything that had happened to me up until that moment had prepared me for writing this book.
I guess Steve Jobs was right, “You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backward. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future.”
You see, growing up, I never got the love and affection of my father. And I never heard him say one single kind and loving word to me. All that I got from him was an abundance of pain and violence.
He was a lost and tormented soul who had no love left in his heart. His heart was filled with pain, darkness, and violence, and he made sure to project all that onto me.
I was a little child, and even though he inflicted so much pain on me, I loved him a great deal. And I wanted him to love me back.
I wanted him to acknowledge me. To tell me that I mattered and that I was worthy of many good things. But he never did. As a result, I began using negative, toxic and self-defeating words to describe myself and my life. I grew up thinking I wasn’t a worthy human being, that I wasn’t worthy of being happy, respected and loved. I grew up thinking I was small and insignificant and that I would never be anything but the girl who came from a “dysfunctional” family and who was now doomed to repeat the same mistakes her parents made and to live a sad and unhappy life.
Then suddenly, around the age of 25, I felt that I couldn’t do it anymore. So many things were happening at once, and I no longer had the energy to walk on the same destructive path. And so I decided to let it all go. To give it all up and create a brand new life for me.
“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.” ~ Lao Tzu.
When I first wrote my phenomenally popular blog post, 15 Things You Should Give Up to Be Happy, I had no idea how much those 15 things were going to impact my life. But as I started working on writing the book with the same title, and as I started letting go of the many things that were still left for me to let go of, I began to understand how much harm clinging to those things was doing to me, and how much freedom lies in letting them go.
“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond the winning.” ~ Lao Tzu
So many painful things happened to me while growing up, and for more than 25 years I allowed those things to hurt me, to consume me, and to define who I was. But the moment I decided to let it all go, to free myself from the past, and to create a brand new life for myself, I felt something awaken. And it was as if all my toxic thoughts, beliefs and limitations broke their bonds, and with every day that passed by, I found myself to be by far a greater person than I ever dreamt I could be.
This is what letting go does to you.
Letting go frees you from everything that’s not authentic, from the many things that cause you a great deal of pain, stress, and suffering, and it takes you back to yourself, to your life, and to being who life created you to be.
Letting go healed and transformed me, and it changed my life in ways I never knew possible, and I know it can do the same for you.
15 Things You Should Give Up to Be Happy: The Book
The 15 Things You Should Give Up to Be Happy book is based on what many have dubbed “the most viral self-development article in the history of the internet”, published on PurposeFairy blog, and shared over 1.3 million times on Facebook, to wide acclaim.
Like the article, the book offers a simple and easy-to-understand explanation for why there are so many unhappy people in this world and talks about how happiness can be achieved not by accumulating more, doing more and having more but by giving up more.
In the 15 Things You Should Give Up to Be Happy book, I talk about the many things that cause us a great deal of pain, stress, and suffering and I share tools on how to give them all up in order to achieve long-lasting happiness. The tools are based on my personal experience, ancient Eastern wisdom, contemporary spirituality, and breakthrough scientific research in psychology.
Last but not least, my approach to writing this book overcomes the most common objection to the ideas in it: that these ideas and tools supposedly cannot work for everyone, especially those who have experienced difficult lives while growing up. As I make it clear with my stories, I grew up with great difficulties and in a very abusive household, and yet managed to breakthrough.
I share my deeply personal stories in a way that will hopefully inspire and show you that regardless of your past, happiness is absolutely possible and desirable, and it starts with “giving up.”
The paperback book is NOW available on Amazon for order and worldwide shipping.
Vishen Lakhiani Founder and CEO of Mindvalley described the book in the following words:
“I encourage you to dive into 15 Things You Should Give Up to Be Happy, and be truly inspired by the hard-won lessons of someone who has managed to turn her life around, let go of her past, and heal herself so that she could seek her ultimate truth – to live at the peak of her human potential and inspire the lives of many others.”
And here are a few things some of our readers had to say about the 15 Things You Should Give Up to Be Happy article, and the book:
“I paid $1800 and spent 30 weeks in outpatient therapy which changed my life and has made me very content. Then I read your article on “The 15 things you need to lose in order to be happy” and in a few different words, you explained everything I learned in 30 weeks of cognitive behavioral therapy. My question is ‘Where have you been all my life?’” ~ Brent Wayne Burleson
“With excellent example that is extremely relatable and on point explanations of the cause and how to clear the problems, this book is a must have for not only adults but teens and preteens as well. How wonderful it would have been to have this book when my problems were beginning to establish a pattern. It wouldn’t be so complicated to clear than now! I recommend this book be given to parents to share with their children, grandparent to share with their grandchildren. There is no better teacher than life experience. So why aren’t we sharing with the next generation to help them recognize the best attitudes to embrace and which to reject?” ~ Reiki Nana
“This young woman has more wisdom in her little finger than most of us have in our whole body. This book is one that if you like to mark it with a highlighter you’ll have more of that than anything else. There is so much to learn from her. Her wisdom is so incredibly simple, it’s easy to think it may not be valuable. If I can implement a fraction of her suggestions into my life, I will be a far happier, freer person than I have been. I highly recommend this book to everyone, young and old. It is a gift to yourself. Enjoy!” ~ Maureen N. Larsonon
“Luminita, I just wanted to say thank you so much for writing the most amazing book 15 Things You Should Give Up to be Happy. This is the most inspirational book I have ever read and I could read it a hundred times over and still learn more, have more insights and reflect on something different each time. You are a gifted writer and your words are so wise. Thank you for sharing your story and for producing such a wonderful book.( I have never reviewed a book before but did so on Amazon… I just felt so compelled to encourage all to be moved by your book as I was).” ~ Bernadette Somers