“To offer no resistance to life is to be in a state of grace, ease, and lightness. This state is then no longer dependent upon things being in a certain way, good or bad. It seems almost paradoxical, yet when your inner dependency on form is gone, the general conditions of your life, the outer forms, tend to improve greatly. Things, people, or conditions that you thought you needed for your happiness now come to you with no struggle or effort on your part, and you are free to enjoy and appreciate them – while they last. All those things, of course, will still pass away, cycles will come and go, but with dependency gone, there is no fear of loss anymore. Life flows with ease.” ~ Eckhart Tolle

My greatest desire was always to feel peace. There was a time when I truly didn’t know what that felt like. It seems like a distant destination that I desired to reach but had no idea how. My mind told me that the more things felt under control the more peace I would feel. If I could only fix everything – my weight, my income, my family, the pain I felt etc.; then things would be ok. Of course, even when things seemed under control, I still didn’t feel peace. I felt tired, ashamed and worried.

Deep down I had a vision for myself and for life and that created a lot of resistance. I don’t ever remember consciously creating this vision, it was just there. It included stories about how things should be – the perfect relationship, career, family, and body. If things are good then it will look like this and feel like this and that was that!

Whenever something didn’t go as I assumed it would (which was very often) I would be upset and negative. I couldn’t see that there was a rainbow of possibilities out there and that I didn’t get to choose how my desires would come to be nor would I get to choose the way in which I would learn lessons. In other words, I wasn’t in control.

I constantly resisted the way things were and fought against them. I used it as evidence to prove how horrible life really was and how hard it was for things to work out. It became ammunition to support feeling like a victim.

I was so attached to how my life should be that it destroyed my ability to see, appreciate and enjoy life as it is.

How to Let Go of Resistance and Start Enjoying Life

It was only when I began to accept my life the way it was and trust that there was light at the end of the tunnel that I felt peace. And this didn’t happen naturally. I had to start a new practice and use a different lens when looking at my life. I chose to do this mindfully because I was tired of being negative and stressed.

Here are 5 ways to let go of resistance and start enjoying your life:

1. Know your story.

We all have stories we tell ourselves about life and how it should be. What’s yours and does it serve you in feeling peace?

2. Create a new story.

If your old story included a lot of “shoulds” – what does your new story include? Perhaps more acceptance, trust, and flow.

3. Collect evidence.

Even when nothing goes as we think it should, we can look back and gather a few pieces of evidence that prove it actually happened in the best way possible. What good has come from these past experiences?

4. Shift your focus.

Pay attention to the things you concentrate on. If you find like most people that you tend to get stuck on how things aren’t working out the right way – shift your focus to what is working.

5. Create a mantra.

Create a mantra for your new practice. A sentence you repeat to yourself daily. For example, “I am open and accepting of life’s experiences” or “I trust that everything is happening for the best.”

When we release resistance towards the way things are we create space for many more opportunities. Letting go of our “shoulds” is one of the most powerful ways you can change your life and feel peace.

I’d love to hear from you – please share what touched you in this post and how you want to practice acceptance in your life.



Orly Levy

Orly Levy is a Transformational Coach specializing in healing and managing stress. She uses a whole person approach by shining light on physical, spiritual and mental healing. She guides others to connect with their internal wisdom and discover peace. Through her experience of overcoming anxiety and depression, Orly has learned that by shining light on our challenges we have the power to transform them. Her practice includes hormonal health support. If you are interested in connecting or receiving a Discovery Session visit her virtual home at OrlysLight.com

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  • Amy

    at 7:59 pm

    Your words have touched me and are so true. Over the past six months I have been working very hard to make small changes in my life to live a more inspired and “happy” life. I have finally been able to accept what cards have been dealt to me and appreciate the gifts I have been given. I focus only on the good things in my life and push away all the negativity that used to always surround me. Amazingly my relationships have improved, and thus brought much joy! I call myself a WIP (work in progress)!

    I have passed on your inspirational posts to many friends!

    Thanks for making this world a better place 🙂

  • human1nature

    at 11:02 pm

    Thank you for sharing this. It is hard to remember that what we want from life doesn’t always unfold the way we expect it to. We feel we can control life but we can’t and shouldn’t. There are so many factors and interconnecting strands in the web of life. So many other individuals also walking their journeys. So many things can change a course or direction sometimes in an instant. I am grateful for reminders such as this that we must be open to what life brings us and know our path may have many surprises. I try to remember that to not only accept these changes and surprises but rise to them. To find the inner strength to face the challenges and take the opportunities for that is the purpose of our journey. When the lion does not catch the antelope the lion does not curse the antelope or sulk in self pity it just goes after the next zebra it sees.

  • Orly Levy

    at 4:39 pm

    Hi Linda,

    Thank you for sharing. I understand how you feel. I am an empath as well and it has taken me time to learn how to navigate this. The most powerful piece I can share now is that although you are an empath, you get to choose what you allow and what you don’t allow. You are the number one person in your life and your own well being has to come first. Learning to set boundaries, changing your work environment and surrounding yourself with people like you will be supportive. You can also shield yourself from negativity with a prayer or visualization. Sending you a lot of love!

  • Orly Levy

    at 4:31 pm

    I am glad you connected to the writing. Yes, “shoulding” is a big issue for moving forward but you sound like you are aware of it and that makes all the difference. Love, Orly

  • Nancy

    at 11:39 am

    THe article is for me. Thanks for sharing I “should” on myself alot and it’s very counter productive.

  • Linda

    at 10:40 pm

    I work in an extremely sick, hostile, disturbing, unhealthy and negative environment with many people who use me as their own personal emotional dumping ground. Every day I am bombarded with not only the disturbed clients’ negativity and hopelessness but my co-workers, as well. I seem to be a magnet for these people. I know I am an empath but as hard as I try to set healthy boundaries, these people seem compelled to prey on my caring soul. I am slowly succumbing to depression and sadness of which no amount of meditation helps. I do not believe in taking pills but I need help in surviving and healing from years of this kind of treatment. Can you help me?

    Thank you.

  • Greg

    at 7:22 pm

    Out of all I’ve been working on, I realize that I’m still trying to control the out come, if I can be like this or that, this should happen. Reading this 5 ways to let go has made my hands open an release what I have been lastly holding onto for dear life, thank you

  • Lisa

    at 7:05 pm

    Love! So simple yet so true