“I have learned silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind; yet, strange, I am ungrateful to those teachers.”~ Khalil Gibran
1. Smoke and Mirrors
The fear of imperfection and/or of not being accepted is, of course, an illusion. Who gets to be the judge and jury on what is deemed beautiful or hideous — successful or stupid? Let me guess: The tabloids or magazines, possibly Hollywood or the catwalks of Milan? How about TV/movies and the media? Spare a thought about who you give your power over to. The various outlets that dictate what beauty and normal seem to be pushing fake, in my opinion. There are moments where true beauty can shine through these channels, but those flashes are few and far between. True beauty and acceptance is in the eye of the beholder. So anyone claiming to know what beauty or normal definitely is needs very close examining if they are not including every member of the human race in their rundown.
2. Self-Realization and Repair Kits
When you can out these undesirable contracts you can begin to repair them. We have to discover why we felt the lack and how we are feeling now about the same issue. Then we must align it to our higher self by breaking down the agreement piece by piece and offer it up to the light to be cleansed.
3. Inherent Beauty and Perfection
We need to look at ourselves and find the beauty inherent in us, not always trying to fish out our perceived faults. When you treat yourself with loving kindness and nurture your self-esteem with positive thoughts, you will begin to shift into alignment with your higher self.
4. Dissecting Agreements
When we were young we had no inhibitions and sang at the top of our voices, danced our hearts out (whether someone was looking or not) and thought we were princesses and superheroes. Then one day someone came along and made you feel less than what you felt about yourself. You may have paused to take it in – then you made a crucial decision. Either you agreed with what they said or you didn’t. That is why some of us can still dance freely and not be bothered whilst others cringe at the thought of dancing in public – this could be due to an earlier experience of being made to feel like you were ‘no good’ by someone who was only giving you one piece of the puzzle.
Care about people’s approval and you will be their prisoner. ~Lao Tzu
5. Piecing Together Your Puzzle
When I said that the person was only giving one piece of the puzzle I mean that they have a preference based on their version of reality. That is one person’s perspective in a sea of other possible candidates – ones who may have loved your form of expression. This person could have also been a child, an acquaintance, a stranger or it could have been someone you trusted and loved deeply. The latter is often the case and can make the hurt twice as potent. However, we must consider that some things are said in the heat of the moment and not really meant by the offender, so we really need to see why we made the agreement.
6. That Tricky Enigma Called Universal Appeal
You need to know that you can never have universal appeal. You or your talents may not be one person’s cup of tea but what about all the other people in the world who will resonate with your particular brand of uniqueness? However, ultimately you need to please only you. When you do this then you are immediately accepted and no outside influence can make you feel anything other than what you know yourself to be.
7. Acknowledge the Good
We sometimes tend to disregard the ones who encourage us, leaving only space in our thoughts for the ones who hurt us. Why is this, I wonder? Everyone has the urge to be liked and accepted for who they are. This is normal. But what we need to redefine is what is normal? Every soul is special and has equally unique attributes, abilities and ways of expressing themselves creatively. There should be no judgment.
8. Identify the Judge
When judgment rears its head, we must question the one doing the judging. Tell that judge that you are in love with your differences. Viva la difference! Without freedom of expression, this world would be a very dull place. Without diversity in hair color, body shapes, talents, voices, tastes, etcetera we would be tantamount to sheep running around in a field day in and day out – baa-baa-boring!
9. Know Thyself!
Only then will you begin to discover, on the deepest level, that which you truly are and what you have accomplished – not only in this lifetime but in the countless life experiences you have had. Draw on that wealth of talents you have stored, that which you haven’t even begun to extract from your being. When you do, there is nothing anyone can say or do to you that would ever hurt you. You will be resolute as to who you are and nobody can take that away from you — unless you allow them to.
When you are living with the statement ‘be the best you can be’ and you are doing this with all your integrity and might — you have nothing to fear.
Empowerment comes from fearing no-thing and facing every day with courage and love in your heart. Strive to be and do the best you can in every situation, then you will be living in your integrity. Words or energy that does not fit with your frequency or vibration will not be allowed to penetrate your field of self. You will have become the master of your life and your reality.
Something worth looking into, wouldn’t you say?