On-Finding-Yourself-Through-Solitude

“Solitude is strength; to depend on the presence of the crowd is weakness. The man who needs a mob to nerve him is much more alone than he imagines.” ~ Paul Brunton

There was a time when I wanted to be surrounded by people – a lot of them. I didn’t enjoy my own company so I guess I didn’t want to be alone. But as the years went by, as I learned to make peace with who I am, and as I discovered how to truly love and accept myself, I began to realize that there’s great comfort in solitude. And that in fact, the more time I spend alone with myself, the more I enjoy my own company, and the more love I seem to have, not just for my close friends and family, but for the whole world.

“We must become so alone, so utterly alone, that we withdraw into our innermost self. It is a way of bitter suffering. But then our solitude is overcome, we are no longer alone, for we find that our innermost self is the spirit, that it is God, the indivisible. And suddenly we find ourselves in the midst of the world, yet undisturbed by its multiplicity, for our innermost soul we know ourselves to be one with all being.” ~ Hermann Hesse

For me, solitude is freedom – freedom from social norms, freedom from self-imposed limitations, freedom from ignorance, freedom from everything that keeps you from being true to yourself, and freedom from living a life that has no purpose or meaning. The more time I spend in solitude, the more I love myself. The more I love myself, the more I love the people around me. And the more I love the people around me, the better life gets.

Solitude has the power to teach you how to be true to yourself. How to no longer waste your time living someone else’s life and act as if everyone else’s needs are more important than yours.  Solitude puts you on a new and magical path where you learn to live your life from a place of truth, love and high integrity. A path where you learn how to love yourself as much as you want the world to love you. A path where you understand that the relationship you have with your Self is sacred! And that is why:

“I love to be alone. I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude.” ~ Henry David Thoreau

A lot of people think that if you love someone if you care about them, you have to be physically present in their lives. You have to always be near them. But what I realized is that at times, if you love people as much as you say you do, you’ll have to give these people some space. And you’ll have to spend some time away from everything and everyone – to renew and replenish, to strengthen the relationship you have with your Self, to discover more about what your Heart and Soul need from you, and to find the inner strength, courage, and confidence to live the life you came here to live.

The relationships you have with the people in your life – children, spouse, friends, family members, co-workers, neighbors, etc., they are all important. No doubt about it. But so is the relationship you have with your Self. So is the relationship you have with your Heart and Soul. In fact, the way I see it, the relationship you have with your Self should be the most important relationship in your life. Why? Why? Because only by loving yourself fully and only by being true to yourself can you love and be true to the people around you.

This isn’t about you being selfish. This isn’t about you not caring about other people. No! Nothing like that! In fact, this is about you being true to yourself. This is about honoring yourself as much as you want others to honor you. It’s about learning to love, accept and embrace all that you are, so that you can later inspire and empower others, through your own actions and behaviors, to do the same.

Khalil Gibran said it so beautifully:

 “Let there be spaces in your togetherness and let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup. Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf. Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone, even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music. Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping. For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts. And stand together, yet not too near together: For the pillars of the temple stand apart, and the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.”

You might be a parent, daughter, son, wife or husband, a friend, boyfriend or girlfriend. And even though at times you might be tempted to lose yourself completely in the process of serving and loving the people in your life, you need to remember that before being a parent, daughter, son, wife or husband, a friend, boyfriend or girlfriend, etc., you were your own unique and authentic Self!

“Your only obligation in any lifetime is to be true to yourself. Being true to anyone else or anything else is not only impossible but the mark of a fake messiah.” ~ Richard Bach

Your Self is who you are. Your Self is who you were created to be. And your Self is who you should always be!

~love, Luminita💫

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Luminita D. Saviuc

Luminita, the Founder of PurposeFairy, is an enthusiastic student of the arts, psychology, and spirituality. Her acclaimed blog post, 15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy , was shared by over 1.3 million people on Facebook. Later on, it became the heart of her book, 15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy., book that was published by Penguin Random House. For more details check out the 15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy Book Page.

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