Why People Stay in Unhealthy Relationships
So many people stay in unhealthy relationships, feeling trapped, resenting the other person, and thinking that that’s how relationships should be like.
But why do they do it?
Here are 12 reasons why people stay in unhealthy relationships, and why many of them give up on love, on themselves and on life.
1. People stay in unhealthy relationships because they have no knowledge of true LOVE
They have no idea how true love feels like, nor do they know what true love is really all about. And so, they settle for the very little they are given.
When you don’t know how much you’re actually worth, and when you haven’t found a way to accept, honor, love and respect all that you are, unconsciously or not, you will allow other people to treat you poorly. Why? Because deep down inside you believe that to be normal. You believe that’s what you deserve. And so you stay in unhealthy relationships.
3. All kind of fears
There are so many fears that keep people from leaving unhealthy relationships, and some of these fears are fear of being alone forever, fear of not being able to find another person who would love them, fear of being judged and ridiculed. Fear of being laughed at, fear of losing everything. Fear of not knowing where to go, what to do with one’s own life, how to handle the many challenges that will come their way… fear of not being able to survive all alone, fear of losing the security, safety and comfort they are used to, and so on.
So many people believe that LOVE is tough and that relationships take hard work. And even though relationships, like everything else in life, takes work, they don’t take “hard work”. They don’t take the kind of work that most people believe.
You don’t have to work like a slave to make your relationship work. If it’s hard if it’s a constant struggle, and if it brings the worst out of both of you, it’s not really a healthy and loving relationship.
And LOVE… LOVE is not tough. Love just is,
“…patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hope, always perseveres.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
5. Accustomed to pain
Believe it or not, when you spend too much time in the dark, you start to fear the light. The light of the day can become quite frightening, and so, you avoid it. The same with unhealthy relationships. Because a lot of people get accustomed to all that drama, toxicity and living in pain, they no longer want to experience something better, nor do they believe something better exists. And they give up.
Even though many of these relationships are filled with a lot of negativity, toxicity and at times, emotional and/or physical violence, the sad thing is that the victim can become psychologically bound to the abuser. They believe that they can’t live without the one who’s causing them the pain. As a result, even though they are being offered many opportunities to leave, they refuse to do it.
7. For children’s sake
Most parents want to protect their children from the emotional pain of divorce, and they also want to spare themselves of the pain that would come from having their own children blame them for not being able to hold the family together. And so, they choose to stay together “for children’s sake”.
There are times when people want to leave unhealthy relationships. They want to have peace of mind and they want to live a happy and harmonious life. But because of how bad things look like, and because the road ahead them seems very foggy, they feel trapped. They can’t seem to find a way out. They can’t seem to find the help, encouragement, strength, and courage they need. And so they give up.
9. For the many years, they’ve shared their lives
I can’t even remember how many emails and how many messages I received from people who were hurting because of the relationships they were in, and who desperately wanted to leave, but the many years they invested in those relationships were somehow keeping them from doing so.
10. Not wanting to disappoint
You won’t believe it how many people betray themselves, their hearts and their Souls simply because they don’t want to disappoint those around them. Other people’s “happiness” seems to be a lot more important than their own happiness.
11. Loss of hope
The toxicity that was created by their unhealthy relationship poisoned their hearts, their minds, and their entire lives. And now there’s no faith, no belief and no hope left in them. They have given up on love; They have given up on their dreams; They have given up on themselves, and they have given up on life itself. They lost all hope, all faith, and all reasons to think that their lives will ever get any better…
12. Security, safety, and comfort
There are so many people who care more about having security and comfort than they care about having peace of mind. Because they assume that the separation from their mate would lead to all kind of inconveniences – financial troubles, conflicts with their children and their ex, and a lot of discomfort in all areas of their lives, they decide that it is better to forget about their inner peace, happiness, and tranquility and just stay where they are. They are so used to a certain lifestyle, and even though they are trapped and unhappy in their current relationship, they stay for the security and the comfort.
** Is it worth giving up on yourself, your happiness and your peace of mind for security, safety, and comfort? Think about that…