“It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul.” ~ Oriah Mountain Dreamer, The Invitation
You get treated in life the way you teach others to treat you, the way you allow them to treat you. By constantly saying “yes” to others when deep down inside you actually mean to say “no”, and by constantly putting your own needs and desires aside just so you can fulfill the needs and desires of those around you, you are sending a wrong message to yourself and to everyone around you. Through your approval seeking behavior, you tell yourself and the whole world that who you are in not enough and that you need other people’s approval in order for you to feel whole, loved and validated.
Learn to say “no” when you feel like saying “no” and “yes” when you truly feel like saying “yes”. Let people know what you tolerate and what you don’t. Don’t be afraid to speak your truth. Don’t be afraid to put your own needs above the needs of everyone else. Don’t be afraid to “betray” others just so you can be true to yourself. Understand that true freedom comes from living life according to your own rules and from being the unique and authentic individual you were born to be. You don’t owe anything to anyone, but you do owe it to yourself to live life in a way that makes you happy, in a way that makes you feel free.
Don’t betray yourself just so you please those around you. Look within. Ask you real and authentic self to guide you and to show you the way back to who you truly are. Honor your authenticity and through your actions and behaviors, teach others to do the same. You have your own path to walk, your purpose to fulfill and if you continue to live your life in a way that makes sense for others but not for you, you will never know the wonderful things you can achieve. You will never be fully happy and at peace. Always remember that
“When you give to others to the degree that you sacrifice yourself, you make the other person a thief.” ~ Iyanla Vanzant, paraphrasing A Course in Miracles
Why You Should Always Put Yourself First