“They must often change, who would be constant in happiness or wisdom.” ~ Confucius
Change is a natural part of life, and even though we might perceive the small and major life changes that we are constantly faced with as a reason to stress, fear and worry about, the truth of the matter is that a lot of times, when we let go of the old experiences and welcome the new ones, the good we had in the past is often replaced with something better. But in order for us to recognize and receive ‘the better’ we first need to learn how to graciously deal with many of life’s major changes.
12 Ways to Deal with Major Life Changes
Here are 12 ways to help you deal with major or not so major life changes:
“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.” ~ Lao Tzu.
Graciously release the past. Let go of what was and make room for what is. Make room for the new to enter. Welcome the things you are currently experiencing, your challenges, trials and struggles, doubts, fears, and insecurities. Welcome them all with an open heart, as if you have chosen them.
2. Give up control.
Give up the need to control the course of your life, especially in times of major life change. Understand that going through a major life change is a lot like being in the middle of a tornado. If you try to control the storm, doing your best to ‘calm it down’, chances are that you will get hurt, badly! That’s why, the best thing you can do in times of ‘natural disasters’, in times of major life changes, is not to try to control the forces of nature, but rather to allow everything to manifest the way it needs to manifest. To let go of control and surrender to what is.
“People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar.” ~ Thich Nhat Hanh
3. Surrender to what is.
What can be more futile than to argue and fight against the natural flow of life? What can be more insane than to resist life? Surrender to what is. Accept things for what they are and for what they’re not and trust the wisdom of life.
“Some changes look negative on the surface but you will soon realize that space is being created in your life for something new to emerge.” ~ Eckhart Tolle
4. Trust the natural process of your life.
Trust yourself and trust the natural flow of life. Trust that maybe life knows more about what’s best for you than you yourself do. Always remember that “You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backward. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future.” ~ Steve Jobs
5. Let go of expectations.
Let go of all your thoughts, ideas and many of the movies that keep playing in your mind about how things should be or shouldn’t be, about how people should behave and about how life should unfold. Let go of all expectations and just be with what is.
“Without accepting the fact that everything changes, we cannot find perfect composure. But unfortunately, although it is true, it is difficult for us to accept it. Because we cannot accept the truth of transience, we suffer.” ~ Shunryu Suzuki
6. Look at your life as if it were a movie.
See if you can look at your life as if it were a movie. A movie where you were the main character, the hero and all the challenges you are now facing were only meant to strengthen and help you discover your inner greatness, true power, and real potential. See if you can embrace the role you are now playing and instead of feeling trapped and full of doubt, fearful and anxious, you started feeling grateful. loving and courageous instead.
“Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. Security does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than exposure.” ~ Helen Keller
“He whom loves touches not walks in darkness.” ~ Plato
Love your fears away, your pain and your struggles. Love yourself for who you are and for how damaged you perceive yourself to be. Love your life and love the world you live in, no matter how cold, dark and cruel you might look to you. Love those who have harmed you and love those who have loved you. Love everything and everyone. Love your fears, love your scars, your wounds and your struggles. Love all your pain away, because only by doing so you will find the strength, courage, faith, and confidence to keep on going. Only by doing so you will bring light into your dark world.
“You only lose what you cling to.” ~ Buddha
Learn to live each day as if it were your last. Treasure each moment but do your best not to cling onto it. Do your best not to cling on to anything or anyone. Keep in mind that nothing in life is ours to keep – not our friends and family, not our lovers, not our material possessions, not our youth and vitality, not our struggles (which is great news) or successes, and not even our lives. We are all given a body and we are all given one life to live, and what we do with this body and this life it all depends on us. Things, people, experience, they all come and go. Everything changes, nothing remains the same and the more we resist this truth, the more complicated our lives will get. Love life. Love yourself. Love your friends. Love your family, but don’t cling onto them. Release them all. Let them be free.
“Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness. How do you know this is the experience you need? Because this is the experience you are having at the moment.” ~ Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose
Give thanks for everything life sends your way. For every experience and every interaction, either good or bad. Know that everything happens in Divine and perfect order. Showing you the things you need to work on, the lessons you need to learn and want you to grow and evolve into the wonderful and precious being you were born to be.
10. Make the best of what you’ve not got.
Stand up, dust yourself off, and start all over, because believe it or not, this is your life. This is all you’ve got. Lay a firm foundation with the bricks that life has thrown at you. Turn your wounds into wisdom and your difficulties into opportunities. Make the best of what you have and where you are. Make the best of what you’ve got.
“For a long time, it has seemed to me that life was about to begin; Real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be got through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last, it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life.” ~ Albert D’Souza
11. Keep your faith alive.
“To have faith is to trust yourself to the water. When you swim you don’t grab hold of the water, because if you do you will sink and drown. Instead you relax, and float.” ~ Alan Watts
Have faith. In yourself and in the natural process of life. Pray if you can. Meditate. Contemplate. Converse with your God. Converse with the Universe. Converse with nature. Do whatever it takes to strengthen your faith. Ask for help. Ask for guidance. Ask to always see that there is light despite all of the darkness. To have faith and to never lose hope.
12. Never give up on life. Never give up on yourself.
“When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems as though you could not hang on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.” ~ Harriet Beecher
Never give up on life. Never give up on yourself. Always remember that it’s never over until it’s over.
If you’re still alive, if you’re still breathing, you can always find another way, a better way. You can always start all over. Build a better life. Build a better you. You can always rebuild your life. You can always rebuild yourself.
Don’t give up hope. Don’t give up on yourself. And most importantly, don’t give up on life!
If change is a natural process of life, why do you think so many people are afraid of change? I really want to know what are your thoughts on this. You can share your insights by joining the conversation in the comment section below 🙂