A rejection is nothing more than a necessary step in the pursuit of success. ~ Bo Bennett
The definition of rejection: To refuse to accept, have, take, recognize. We reject a million things a day. We choose one salad dressing off the shelf at the supermarket, yet the other bottles aren’t falling down in despair over it, are they?
The fact is, we simply felt like Italian that day. We just weren’t diggin’ the Ranch or Balsamic. We eat our salad and our lives continue. Next time, we choose something else.
Why is it then, that when someone rejects our message, our shoes, our love—that we egocentrically make it all about us? We immediately assume we aren’t good enough or didn’t do enough.
“When we have come to believe in the voices that call us worthless and unlovable, then success, popularity, and power are easily perceived as attractive solutions. The real trap, however, is self-rejection. As soon as someone accuses me or criticizes me, as soon as I am rejected, left alone, or abandoned, I find myself thinking, “Well, that proves once again that I am a nobody.” … I am no good… I deserve to be pushed aside, forgotten, rejected, and abandoned.” ~ Henri J.M. Nouwen
3 Truths About Rejection
1. It’s all just opinion
Rejection, in its simplest form, is an opinion about something that differs from our own. It is a “this isn’t for me,” not a “this sucks.”
When we get to a place of understanding that, we can honor instead of being hurt by each other. Whenever you are feeling rejected, repeat this affirmation to yourself: “I accept this person’s opinion as how they see things at this moment. I choose to continue to see things my own way.”
2. You can find a “yes” in the “no”
A good friend of mine taught this to me and I’ve been using it as one of my strongest self-help tools ever since. For every “no,” you can find at least 5 “yes’s.”
For example, if you aren’t hired for a job or your significant other breaks up with you, it’s easy to see that as a rejection or a “no.” The key to turning it around is finding the “yes.”
Because you didn’t get the job (a “no”), you now get to find something better (yes!), sleep in a little later (yes), connect with your old friend who might know of another opportunity (yes!) and more.
Because you’re going through a break up (a “no”), you now get to really examine what you want for your next relationship (yes!), spend some time with your friends (yes!), and let your bathroom be overrun by makeup products, guilt-free (yes!).
3. Changing limiting beliefs will improve your aim
“You limit yourself by reducing the number of viewpoints you see.” ~ Meir Ezra
When something doesn’t work out, we’re quick to blame circumstances. However, our energy and beliefs have a major impact on how our reality plays out.
If we don’t believe we deserve love, abundance and more, it is very hard to attract and accept those things into our lives.Watch the internal dialogue and you’ll soon recognize patterns of beliefs that you can reprogram.
When you start to really believe you can and will succeed in life, love, and relationships, you immediately improve your aim and become drawn to experiences that will help you fulfill those beliefs. Because we are human beings, it’s our nature to make things all about us.
Changing this pattern might take some practice.
How good will it feel though when someone tells you “no” and you see it as just another “yes” in your life?