“Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn’t need others’ approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.” ~ Lao Tzu
As a counselor and wellness coach I regularly I dish out words of wisdom from clarity, I have uncovered over many years of wandering the globe, sitting with masters, facing my shit and investigating life. Any clarity and wisdom I have uncovered can only ever arise after making a few doozie mistakes.
Believe me, I’ve had my fair share of falling over flat on my face… oops! So I want to share one of my biggest oversights. The biggest mistake I have made in my life that has had the most painful impact and has been the biggest lesson.
I wonder if you have made the same mistake?
The Biggest “mistake” Most of Us Make in Life
To be honest I don’t even really like the word mistake. It is a really negative word for such a natural and essential part of life. Mistakes are what help us to navigate our lives. They are a golden opportunity to re-clarify our values and to test out the results of our thoughts and actions.
So the biggest mistake most of us make in life is… not loving and accepting ourselves as we are.
For most of my childhood and into my twenties I was on a quest to be perfect. I gave it a damn good shot. I lived under a constant pressure to be someone better than who I was. I wanted to be better, faster, wiser, kinder, prettier, more successful. It was an immense pressure to live under. When I found myself on a spiritual path, the constant measuring tape and criticism was still present. Even my meditation practice was fueled by striving for perfection.
It was painful. I never measured up against my own unfair and ridiculous expectations of myself. I was addicted to fixing and improving myself.
This changed significantly a few years ago when I met a master in India who stopped me in my tracks. She introduced me to the perfection of my true nature that exists at the core of my being. Finally, the perfection that I was striving for was revealed. It was there all along, only overlooked. It is the essential nature of all humans at the core… shining in all its brilliance… yet overlooked by a fixed idea of how things should look on the surface.
Ahhhh the relief!
Finally, I could relax into being my imperfect self. I could finally celebrate my annoying tendencies. Every so often I can feel the pressure arise as I feel the weight of expectation but the pain of not measuring up is a great reminder and a signpost to relax back into my delightful imperfection.
Since then life is more like an experiment. I playfully try things out and if they don’t work I go back to the drawing board. The outcomes of my efforts have nothing to do with my self-worth, they are merely a playful experiment. Yippee! This is when life really becomes fun!
I love the analogy of the diamond. It is the most precious, valuable and sort after stone in the world. It is created by high pressure and temperature over millions of years. The word diamond comes from a Greek word meaning unbreakable. Every single diamond that has ever been created by nature is flawed. Diamonds are created with different colors, sizes, and clarity. All are beautiful and special just as they are.
Just like us! We are all gorgeous, stunning, brilliant creatures just as we are. Flaws and all.
One of the biggest gifts that we can give ourselves is to wake up to our true nature and love and adore who we are right now. So your homework is to look at yourself in the mirror every day and look into your eyes. Look all the way to the core. See the perfect sparkle in your eyes and look for the sparkle in others around you.
Go shine dears ones! Sparkle bright. Stop trying to fix yourself and radiate just as you are. Don’t wait until this happens or that happens until you will accept yourself. Whatever you have done, whatever is your particular darkness, you are worthy to have the light burst from the wildly vibrant depths of who you are.
What is one thing you could do today to start loving yourself a little more? You can share your insights by joining the conversation in the comment section below