“You really don’t need their approval. You only need your honest love, appreciation, and acceptance… As Vernon Howard said it so beautifully, “A truly strong person does not need the approval of others any more than a lion needs the approval of sheep.” ~ Luminita D. Saviuc
Approval seeking behavior… If you ask me this is where many of our challenges start. When you are too concerned with what other people think of you – trying to please everyone around you, you lose touch with yourself.
You lose your balance. And you begin to lose control over yourself and over your own life. From that point onwards, you can no longer claim that your life belongs to you. Because it no longer does. It belongs to them..
9 Reasons to No Longer Care About People’s Approval
1. You simply can’t be liked by everybody.
No matter how hard you may try, and no matter how ‘nice’ you are with the people around you, there will always be someone who will talk about you. There will always be someone who will have a problem with you and your ‘inappropriate’ way of thinking, being, breathing, dressing, living, and so on…
2. You can live a happy life without their approval.
Growing up you were told that in order to be liked you had to be nice to people. And you have learned to be suuuper nice. But in spite of your goodness, you somehow keep on encountering people who don’t seem to like you.
Why is that?
Is there something wrong with you?
Just because some people don’t like you, it does not imply that there is something wrong with you. It only means that we are all different and that we perceive people differently as well. The important thing is for you to always remember that who you are is enough no matter what anyone says.. And that your value and sense of self-worth does not increase or decrease based on how many people like and approve of you…
3. You can’t control how other people think of you.
I came to the realization that we all live in different worlds, with a different reality for each and every one of us. A reality that was built based on our thoughts, beliefs, experiences. And based on the many programs we accumulated with the passing of time.
What I might perceive as being right, other people might perceive as being wrong. And what I might perceive as being beautiful, other people might see as being ugly, and so on…
It is what it is…
We all have a different perception on how life should be lived and how people should behave. And instead of wasting your time thinking about what other people think and say about you, it would be wise to spend that time improving and growing yourself.
4. Approval seeking behavior is time-consuming.
Chasing after people’s approval takes a looot of your time. And this time could be used to do things that are meaningful, loving, and life-giving. So why not use your valuable time for that?
5. Approval seeking behavior drains your energy.
Thinking and talking about what this or that person said or did to you, not only wastes your valuable time. But it also wastes your precious energy; energy that could be used to create greater experiences and more meaningful connections.
6. Letting go of approval offers you the freedom to be who you want to be.
As the wise Lao Tzu said it more than 2500 years ago, if you care about people’s approval, you will eventually become their prisoner.
Letting go of this toxic need for their constant validation and approval frees you of all those restrictions and limits you have imposed upon yourself. And it gives you the right to be you. To be free. To be all that YOU were created To Be.
7. Letting go of approval brings you peace.
There is no peace in wanting others to approve of you. There is no freedom and no joy in that. But there is a ton of peace, bliss, and excitement in letting go, being free, and loving yourself for who you truly are.
8. You are the one in control of your life, not them.
Letting go of approval helps you realize that your life is yours to live. It belongs to you and to no one else. It always has and always will. Therefore, you owe it to yourself to mind your own business and live your life the best you know how. And if other people have a problem with that, send them a silent blessing and create some space in your life for them to move alone.
“The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you’ll be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.” ~ Arthur Gordon
9. The only person you need to impress is yourself.
Contrary to what you were led to believe, you do not need to chase the approval of those around you. You do not need to go around like a mad person trying to prove to the whole world that you are worthy, valuable, and enough.
That’s just insane behavior.
If you truly like and approve of yourself, it will no longer matter if people say nice things about you or not. For you will know that all this pressure to be what others think you should be is nothing but a lot of nonsense; games people play to use, abuse, control and manipulate each other.
No need to fall into these ridiculous man-made traps…
You are not here to impress anyone. You are only here to be true to yourself, your path, and your life. And the only person you should aspire to impress is your own Divine, Unique, and Magnificent Self.
And these are the 9 reasons to let go of people’s approval. I hope each and every one of them will inspire and empower you to let go, to be free… to be all that Life created you to be.
~love, Luminita 💫
** What about you? Why do you think so many people are willing to betray their own self just so that they can please others? I really want to know what are your thoughts on this. You can share your insights by joining the conversation in the comment section below 🙂