13 Powerful Lessons to Learn From Happy Couples

Happy couples are the most beautiful couples. For they illuminate the world with their love. Reminding us of the power of love and the value and importance of surrender, commitment, unity, and oneness. ~ Luminita D. Saviuc

What is the secret to healthy and long lasting relationships? What is love?  Does it really exist? Can it last forever?  If so, why do so many relationships fail? Why are there so many unhappy and needy people that go from one “failed” relationship to another? Is there a shortage of love in the world? How many couples do you know who are still in love when their hair turns gray?

Happy couples who manage to keep their love flourishing have many powerful lessons to teach us.

13 Powerful Lessons to Learn From Happy Couples

1. Happy Couples Seek to give more than you seek to get.

When they enter into a relationship, they do so because they want to share the best of themselves with the other person, and their main focus is to make the other person happy.

“Some of the biggest challenges in relationships come from the fact that most people enter a relationship in order to get something. They’re trying to find someone who’s going to make them feel good. In reality, the only way a relationship will last is if you see your relationship as a place that you go to give, and not a place that you go to take.” ~ Anthony Robbins

2. Happy couples take responsibility for their personal happiness.

These people are already happy — on their own.  Because of that, their love will last until the end of days. They don’t look for “salvation” when entering a new relationship, but rather they look for ways to make the other person happy, understanding that

“Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to their own.” ~ Robert Heinlein

3. Happy couples practice awareness.

Awareness of the fact that there will be ups and downs, good days and bad days, and that in order for their relationship (LOVE) to last, they need to invest time and effort in it. You can’t take your hand off the steering wheel and expect to end up in paradise.

4. Happy couples understand the power of commitment.

They are committed “to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part.”  If something is “broken,” they don’t throw it away (and sometimes it is the other person you want to “throw away”), they fix it.

5. Happy couples love without being needy.

Even though it may sound quite frightening, it’s not.  You want to be in a relationship with someone who is aware of the fact that they are already whole and complete and they don’t need another human being in order for them to feel this way. Can you imagine all the pressure you put on your partner the moment you say that it’s their job to make you happy, that it’s their job to complete you?

“It is only when we no longer compulsively need someone that we can have a real relationship with them.” ~ Anthony Storr

6. Happy couples practice respect and acceptance.

Respect and acceptance of the differences that exist between them, without trying to constantly change the other person, allowing them to be as they are.

“When men and women are able to respect and accept their differences then love has a chance to blossom.” ~ John Gray

7. Happy couples practice open communication and trust.

Trust in the other person and in what they can achieve together as a couple and a very healthy way of communicating with one another.

“The fundamental glue that holds any relationship together is trust.” ~ Brian Tracy

8. Happy couples understand the importance of appreciation.

Appreciation of the differences and similarities that exist between them, appreciation of the work each of them does and appreciation of who and what they are.

9. Happy couples work as a team.

A lot of couples, after their honeymoon stage, start to act like they are enemies.  A lot of people do that, but not happy couples.  They understand that they are moving in the same direction, that they have the same goals and interests, that they are part of the same team — and because of that, their love flourishes from one day to the next.

“I’m here not because I am supposed to be here, or because I’m trapped here, but because I’d rather be with you than anywhere else in the world.” ~ Richard Bach

10. Happy couples understand the value of space.

They understand the importance of having space in their relationship.  They know that Eckhart Tolle said it so beautifully, “Space is a unifying field of awareness in which you meet the other person without the separative barriers created by conceptual thinking. And now the other person is no longer ‘other.’  In that space, you are joined together as one awareness, one consciousness.” 

11. Happy couples understand the power of self-love, self-improvement, and self-growth.

The people who are in strong, healthy, and long-lasting relationships are aware of the fact that “When you struggle with your partner, you are struggling with yourself. Every fault you see in them touches a denied weakness in yourself.” ~ Deepak Chopra

They take the time to work on their own person, they take the time to better themselves because they know that by doing so, their relationship will also improve.

12. Happy couples focus on the good traits instead of the bad ones.

Focus on the good traits of the other person and not on the negative ones. They don’t focus on what the other person is not, or on what they think might be missing from their relationship. These people are mature enough to understand that, just as Wayne Dyer said it, Problems in relationship occur because each person is concentrating on what is missing in the other person.” 

13. Happy couples practice non-interference.

They allow the other person to be as he/ she wants to be, without trying to control them, without trying to tell them what to think, what to believe, and what to feel.

~love, Luminita 💫

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Luminita D. Saviuc

Luminita, the Founder of PurposeFairy, is an enthusiastic student of the arts, psychology, and spirituality. Her acclaimed blog post, 15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy , was shared by over 1.3 million people on Facebook. Later on, it became the heart of her book, 15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy., book that was published by Penguin Random House. For more details check out the 15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy Book Page.

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10 Comments

  • SMA

    26, September 2012 at 8:47 pm

    Everything listed here is very very difficult to do all of the time. A relationship is fluid, and it is transient and it can also be mundane. It’s not constant. People change. Our expectations of them and of ourselves also keeps changing. People change for the better and at times they also change for the worse. A relationship which is born out of love has an emotional element to it. There is nothing wrong with being a little needy or in feeling a little needed. Can there be anything bad in feeling totally wanted and needed by somebody? That’s love and passion and chemistry all working together. I do agree on the major points on a purely theoretical level, and they are exactly what one would need to follow for an arranged marriage, but not when following ones heart completely!

  • Crystal Green

    27, August 2012 at 2:04 am

    I loved this blog post. It was filled with wonderful advice. I think every marriage struggles with keeping at least one or two of these on a regular bases. I struggle with trust issues due to my past, but I KNOW it’s my own personal battle and not something my husband did to cause it. So, I try my utter best to deal with it on my own.
    I’ve wrote blogs about marriage as well. 🙂

  • danaadmin

    15, July 2012 at 7:01 am

    Once the trust is broken it’s true, it can be a bit challenging to build it again and it’s up to us to choose whether we want to try to rebuild this trust or not, if we want to stay in the relationship if not. Our job is to be loving and forgiving and the other person’s job is to invest on rebuilding the trust. If they make the same mistakes over and over again we need to ask ourselves what is it that we want because they will not change… You can’t change others, you can only change yourself 🙂

    “I walk down the street.
    There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
    I fall in.
    I am lost… I am hopeless.
    It isn’t my fault.
    It takes forever to find a way out.

    I walk down the same street.
    There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
    I pretend I don’t see it.
    I fall in again.
    I can’t believe I’m in the same place.
    But it isn’t my fault.
    It still takes a long time to get out.

    I walk down the same street.
    There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
    I see it is there.
    I still fall in… it’s a habit
    My eyes are open
    I know where I am
    It is my fault.
    I get out immediately.

    I walk down the same street.
    There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
    I walk around it.

    I walk down another street.”Portia Nelson

  • Amy

    14, July 2012 at 5:48 pm

    This is all sound advice. My issue has been trust since the beginning, as he has broken in it in little ways and big ways more than a couple of times in the last 7 years. He is trying again and knows that I have reasons for not trusting. What can I do on my end to assist? I feel like if I do not trust then I create an environment where it creates something bad. I am honest about my mistrusts and why they exist. And they are sound reasons. Rebuilding is hard.

  • Joe

    20, June 2012 at 2:01 pm

    St Paul

  • danaadmin

    8, May 2012 at 3:43 pm

    Corinthians 🙂

  • Julianne

    8, May 2012 at 11:47 am

    Love is patient, kind, not jealous, not proud, not arrogant or rude, doesn’t insist on its own way. It’s not irritable or resentful. It takes no joy in wrongs but is happy with the truth, It puts up with a lot, always trusts, focuses on Hope and endures the hard times. Love never Ends.
    Sound Familiar???

  • Melody

    20, April 2012 at 3:16 pm

    I have had this sign hanging at my desk for years and I refer to it everyday to remind me why I am in a loving marriage.

    “Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get – only with what you are expecting to give – which is everything.” Katharine Hepburn

  • Steven Manus

    19, April 2012 at 5:57 pm

    These are all helpful to focus upon. When we take responsibility for our own happiness, and our own development, we are able to give our partner the freedom to simply be who they are. A mutual trust develops because each is looking to bring out their best in the relationship, and in their partner. Its very sweet to have such a heart connection. We offer freedom, and get so much in return – friendship, loyalty, kindness, benefit of doubt.

  • Julie

    18, April 2012 at 6:40 am

    I love this sitem every time, I visit I come away with meanful and pertinent info that makes me think.