“Love wasn’t put in your heart to stay. Love isn’t love until you give it away.” Michael Smith
What I have noticed over the years is that everybody wants to receive love while at the same time they fear giving their love away. It’s like there is a limited stock and they don’t want that to end. Believe me, the more love you choose to give away, the more love you will receive back. What goes around comes around.
I know there are so many people who fear to give their love away, who think that by doing this they become weak and vulnerable and that others will take advantage of them but is that really true? What a scarce mindset, don’t you think? If you only give something in order to get it back, and in this case, love, maybe you should stop doing that. This can’t be called love but rather approval seeking. By thinking the way you do and doing the things you do, you act like a needy person, always keeping track of how much love you gave to your partner and how much love you’re supposed to receive back. Can you really find your peace of mind this way? I doubt that.
Needy people need to keep track of everything they give away, every kind word and every gesture, and if by any chance you dare not to do the same, you dare not to “pay them back”, you’re going to get in big trouble. “I thought you loved me! I always do this and that for you and you don’t! Why won’t you do the same thing for me? Why are you always acting so selfish? I hate you! I hate you!” Can you really call this love? I wouldn’t. Love has no opposites. You can’t go from loving someone one moment to hating him the next one. It’s insane. This is not loving. The people who aren’t yet able to love themselves will never be able to love others. They will only think they love them and even though they will be in that state for a while, they will eventually go back to their natural state of pain, blaming their partner for their unhappiness, not realizing that they are the only ones to be blamed, going from one failed relationship to another.
You know those people who can’t be alone and always run around trying to find a new partner, trying to get into a new relationship as fast as they can? Well, those people can’t stand to be alone because when they do, the person they are alone with is unbearable. They hate it. They hate being alone with their own selves and that is why they are always going around, looking outside for something to make them feel a little better. That must be exhausting.
You may run all of your life after something that you think will make you happy, not realizing that it’s a lot easier for you to start looking within, to work from inside out. The outside world as you see it, and all the unhappiness you are experiencing because of you so many failed relationship and your unloving partners, are nothing more than a reflection of who you are and the pain that is present within you, and the sad part is that many of these people don’t even realize this to be true. The world as you see it is in you, and you are in that world. The world is in you, and you are in the world, it’s that simple.
Why is it so hard to see that by doing the horrible things you are doing to yourself and by acting the way you do, by always running after something that is out there, outside yourself, you give all your power away to others and you become defenseless.
You are needy, you need approval and because of that, from time to time, whenever you needs aren’t met, you turn into a maniac, and you start acting like an insane person.
This is not you; this is not the life you want to live. You deserve more than this, we all do, so why not start working on reducing that need for approval. Believe me, by doing this, not only you will feel a lot better about yourself, lighter and less stressed, peaceful and more content, but you will also feel more powerful and in control of your feelings, emotions, and behaviors. You are more than enough, you are whole and you don’t need others to confirm you this truth.
You don’t need other people to tell you how great you are and how lovable you are. You already know this to be true and you now act upon this knowing. There is nothing more pleasant than a person who knows his/her real value, who treasures and loves herself/himself, and by doing this, he/she would attract more of that in his/her life, for like attracts like, and the things, thoughts and emotions that we choose to place our focus and energy upon, not only will they persist but they will become more abundant, they will start expanding more and more in our lives.
“There is no remedy for love but to love more.” Henry David Thoreau
By loving your partner without you expecting to receive their love back, you will learn what unconditional love is all about; what infinite love is all about and you will realize that this is your path to freedom. You will no longer feel the need to be disappointed whenever others don’t return that love back to you. Learn to love yourself as much as you would want others to love you and learn to give your love away, without the need and expectation of getting something in return.
Take responsibility for your own feelings and for the way others choose to treat you, and always remember, your outside world is nothing more than a reflection of what you are experiencing on the inside, within yourself. Your outside world is as beautiful as the inside, and you want to make the inside as beautiful as possible in order for you to project that inner beauty in the outer world. Choose to be one with the Infinite Love that is present within and all around you.
at 4:55 am
I can think of a couple of people I wish had read this. The hating to be alone with yourself is interesting. I live alone, prefer it that way… I guess I like me huh?… but on the other hand… have only met one man in all my life that did not cheat on me… and he died. Love is scary… it gets you hurt alot.
at 1:44 pm
Very refreshing read. It makes me think of why meditation is so important. Until you can live with and love yourself, it will be hard to with others. It’s also true that the more you give the more you receive. Thanks for posting this.
at 12:39 pm
Very interesting. I have issues with someone in my life who takes account of things she gives, just to charge for them later by demanding unconditional love. Interestingly, this person hates to spend time with herself. When she does she looks drained of energy – an understatement.