I Want You To Change So I Can Be Happy

“To be nobody but yourself in a world that’s doing its best to make you somebody else, is to fight the hardest battle you are ever going to fight. Never stop fighting.” E. E. Cummings

What do you do about those people who are trying to control every step you make and every action you take? There are people who will constantly try to change who you are and what you do in order for you to be more like they are… They can’t accept the idea of you being different and they will do everything they can to “fix” you. Yes, apparently you need to be fixed, that’s how they see it. Apparently, the invisible intelligence that created you, experienced some technical problems while making you, but no worries, thanks to these people that are now able to see your flaws, you will now be “fixed.” Luck you!

What’s the deal with these people who are always trying to make you think that there’s something wrong with you? Unfortunately, there is a lot of people who believe that to be true and they will allow these people to control their lives and make them into something that they are not, turning them into puppets.

“My attitude is that if you push me towards something that you think is a weakness, then I will turn that perceived weakness into a strength.”  Michael Jordan

It never ceases to amaze me how delusional some people are, believing that there is something wrong with those around them and that the whole world needs to change in order for them to be happy, in order for them to feel good about themselves. According to them, they are perfect and there is absolutely nothing wrong with them, only with you!  We should all get treated in order for them to feel good. These are people who can’t take responsibility for their own feeling and who would rather blame everybody around them than to take action for their own feelings.

I would say that the fastest and easiest thing to get rid of people like that is to ignore them, but what happens when these people turn out to be your close friends, your family? What happens when these people are those very close to you? Can’t you ignore your family right? You can’t ignore your wife, your husband, your mother father and so on. The sad thing is that a lot of times these people are the ones we love the most and that’s what makes it so painful.

I would have to say that the best thing you should do is love them exactly as they are, even though they drive you crazy most of the time. Try to accept them as they are and try not to label their actions and behavior, because the moment you do, you will definitely feel hurt.

You can’t control them and you can’t control what they will say and do to you, but you can definitely control how you respond to whatever it is that they are saying or doing to you, you can definitely control your attitude toward them. You see, I always tell people that attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference. We give value to everything that happens to us, we give value to all the words we hear, we give value to our and other people’s actions and behaviors, and we are the ones who choose to feel offended or not. It’s a choice, and we have this choice.

I know for some of you this may sound crazy, crazy and impossible, but you need to keep an open mind. If you choose to react to them and if you choose to follow the same path over and over again, you will always get the same results, the same results that have always brought you pain, suffering, anxiety and frustration. Stop resisting what is and accept things just as they are, whether you see them as being perfect or imperfect.

I can tell you that I have many people like that in my life, people that I deeply care about and who drive me crazy from time to time, and I can tell you that as you start looking at things from a different perspective and as you start to change your attitude toward them, you realize that they aren’t as bad as you though they were.

I once heard this man who was 80 years old and he was trying to do something about his controlling father. He hated him so much, he hated his father all of his life for always trying to control his every move and for making him feel inferior, and for more than 70 years he resisted his father’s behavior, trying to control everything he said or done, trying to change him but nothing ever happened. Who in their right mind would choose to do the same thing over and over again expecting to get different results? That is pure insanity.

It’s like trying to get out of your house and instead of using the door, you keep bumping yourself into the wall that’s right next to the door, and you can’t seem to understand why in the world are you still inside your house? That’s exactly what many of us do, but I guess it’s never too late to use the door instead of bumping into the wall, right?

You need to accept the fact that you simply can’t change other people and that the only person you can change is yourself, you and your attitude toward them. That’s the best thing you can do for yourself and your well-being.

“The greatest discovery of all time is that a person can change his future by merely changing his attitude.” Oprah Winfrey

What do you do about those people who are trying to control every step you make and every action you take? There are people who will constantly try to change who you are and what you do in order for you to be more like they are… They can’t accept the idea of you being different and they will do everything they can to “fix” you. Yes, apparently you need to be fixed, that’s how they see it. Apparently, the invisible intelligence that created you, experienced some technical problems while making you, but no worries, thanks to these people that are now able to see your flaws, you will now be “fixed.”

Luck you!

What’s the deal with these people who are always trying to make you think that there’s something wrong with you? Unfortunately, there is a lot of people who believe that to be true and they will allow these people to control their lives and make them into something that they are not, turning them into puppets.

It never ceases to amaze me how delusional some people are, believing that there is something wrong with those around them and that the whole world needs to change in order for them to be happy, in order for them to feel good about themselves. According to them, they are perfect and there is absolutely nothing wrong with them, only with you!

We should all get treated in order for them to feel good. These are people who can’t take responsibility for their own feeling and who would rather blame everybody around them than to take action for their own feelings.

I would say that the fastest and easiest thing to get rid of people like that is to ignore them, but what happens when these people turn out to be your close friends, your family? What happens when these people are those very close to you? Can’t you ignore your family right? You can’t ignore your wife, your husband, your mother father and so on. The sad thing is that a lot of times these people are the ones we love the most and that’s what makes it so painful.

I would have to say that the best thing you should do is love them exactly as they are, even though they drive you crazy most of the time. Try to accept them as they are and try not to label their actions and behavior, because the moment you do, you will definitely feel hurt.

You can’t control them and you can’t control what they will say and do to you, but you can definitely control how you respond to whatever it is that they are saying or doing to you, you can definitely control your attitude toward them. You see, I always tell people that attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference. We give value to everything that happens to us, we give value to all the words we hear, we give value to our and other people’s actions and behaviors, and we are the ones who choose to feel offended or not. It’s a choice, and we have this choice.

I know for some of you this may sound crazy, crazy and impossible, but you need to keep an open mind. If you choose to react to them and if you choose to follow the same path over and over again, you will always get the same results, the same results that have always brought you pain, suffering, anxiety and frustration. Stop resisting what is and accept things just as they are, whether you see them as being perfect or imperfect.

I can tell you that I have many people like that in my life, people that I deeply care about and who drive me crazy from time to time, and I can tell you that as you start looking at things from a different perspective and as you start to change your attitude toward them, you realize that they aren’t as bad as you though they were.

I once heard this man who was 80 years old and he was trying to do something about his controlling father. He hated him so much, he hated his father all of his life for always trying to control his every move and for making him feel inferior, and for more than 70 years he resisted his father’s behavior, trying to control everything he said or done, trying to change him but nothing ever happened. Who in their right mind would choose to do the same thing over and over again expecting to get different results? That is pure insanity.

It’s like trying to get out of your house and instead of using the door, you keep bumping yourself into the wall that’s right next to the door, and you can’t seem to understand why in the world are you still inside your house? That’s exactly what many of us do, but I guess it’s never too late to use the door instead of bumping into the wall, right?

You need to accept the fact that you simply can’t change other people and that the only person you can change is yourself, you and your attitude toward them. That’s the best thing you can do for yourself and your well-being.

I know I heard somebody saying that she no longer identifies herself with her husband because she has changed over the last few years while he remained the same and although she really tried to communicate with him and make things work, she couldn’t do it because he was always trying to bring her back where she once was and she wasn’t that person anymore, so she decides to file for divorce.

Maybe you are evolving and maybe you are growing as a person and they can’t stand to see that, they can’t accept that and that is why they would try to make you doubt yourself.

~love, Luminita💫

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Luminita D. Saviuc

Luminita, the Founder of PurposeFairy, is an enthusiastic student of the arts, psychology, and spirituality. Her acclaimed blog post, 15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy , was shared by over 1.3 million people on Facebook. Later on, it became the heart of her book, 15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy., book that was published by Penguin Random House. For more details check out the 15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy Book Page.

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