If you took one-tenth the energy you put into complaining and applied it to solving the problem, you’d be surprised by how well things can work out . . . Complaining does not work as a strategy. We all have finite time and energy. Any time we spend whining is unlikely to help us achieve our goals. And it won’t make us happier. ~ Randy Pausch
This is a sequel to a previous post, The One Little Thing That Can Make You Happy or Unhappy.
It is really amazing how letting go of the need to complain combined with the right action can be the difference between feeling good and feeling great. So, as promised, in this article I am going to share with you 5 tips you can use to kick complaining to the curb and boost your positivity.
5 Great Ways to Give Up Complaining and Boost Your Positivity
1. Give up complaining by changing your perception.
You must be willing to solve your problems; either on your own or with the help of others. Hours turn into days, days turn into weeks and weeks turn into months. If you don’t address what’s bothering you today, it won’t go away.
It will be there tomorrow, and every minute after that, until you address it. You can do one of two things: Change what is bothering you or change your perception about what is bothering you.
For example, if you don’t like your job, avoid complaining about it day after day, quit, or change how you view it. Instead of approaching your work with disdain, approach it with gratitude for even having a job.
For me, with prepping for classes, I decided to look at the prep work differently. I told myself, the sooner I prepped for the course, the sooner I could do other things I enjoyed. I refused to wallow in the anguish of inaction for days.
The more you focus on what’s good in your life, the more good you will draw to you. The more you complain about what’s wrong in your life, the more you will experience what’s wrong for you.
That is the law of attraction.
You will attract or create what you think about most—not some of the time, but all of the time.
For example, if you put on a pair of glasses with purple lenses, everything you look at will have a purple tint to it. If you view the world through the lenses of a complainer, everything you look at will have a negative tint to it. And just like you can change the color of the lenses in a pair of glasses, you can change the filters that overlay your thinking.
When you feel like complaining, silently say “let go” to yourself and decide not to. Notice whether your thoughts at the moment are positive or negative. If you are complaining, they are most likely negative. If the urge to complain comes up again, say “let go” again and repeat the process. Continue to do this until your thoughts become positive.
3. Remind yourself that complaining zaps your energy.
Positive and negative thinking affects every aspect of your being. It affects you psychologically, physically, mentally, and emotionally.
Have you ever noticed that when you think positive thoughts, you feel good about yourself and you’re ready to take on the world, but when you think negative thoughts, you just want to curl up in bed, pull the covers over your head and feel sorry for yourself?
Which would you rather have–the energy for meeting the world with passion and enthusiasm or the feeling of being in a funk? It is your choice.
When you find yourself getting ready to complain, take a time out. If possible, go to a quiet space and think about how complaining will affect your energy and then decide whether you want to move forward with it. Sometimes the act of putting yourself in a different physical space and consciously thinking about the impact of an action is enough to dissolve an urge.
4. Realize what it’s costing you.
Money is a great motivator. Sometimes it’s the only motivator needed to spark lasting change. You’ll be amazed at how much more aware it will make you of any complaining behavior, making it easier to nip it in the bud. Decide every time you catch yourself complaining to set aside a dollar for the charity of your choice.
Of course, you could set aside more or less, depending on how quickly you want to curb your complaining. However, setting aside more might get you to living more positively sooner. You could even consider setting the money aside for a charity you hate if that is a bigger change motivator for you. Whatever you decide, stick to it and before you know it, you’ll be giving that money to charity complaint-free.
5. Think about how you want to spend your time.
The more time you spend complaining, the less time and energy you have to do other things. Instead of complaining, you could be using that time to work on other tasks not yet completed or to spend quality time with family, friends or yourself.
If you aren’t careful, complaining can become habitual, like brushing your teeth, taking a shower, or doing your morning run. The good news — like all habits, with practice, you can train the complaining out of you.
Remind yourself how valuable your time is and decide whether you would like to use it to complain or use it for something that will bring you the desired result.
Nothing happens without action. Action got you out of bed in the morning. Action got you to click on the title of this post. And action will help you curb your complaining.
So, the next time you feel the urge to complain, do you think you can pull these tips out and choose positivity instead? Share your comment by joining the conversation below 🙂