What Made Me Become Little Miss Drama Pants
The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for. ~Maureen Dowd
This is a sequel to my previous post, How I Went from Being Miss Positive Pants to Being Negative.
So, after feeling quite strange for almost two months, acting all moody, cranky and negative, I decided that maybe I should read some of my posts.
I do this whenever I want to remind myself of who I am deep down inside and what I stand for and believe it or not, I always end up feeling a lot better afterwards. Even though this annoying voice inside my head was trying to convince me “to stop with the nonsense”, I decided to simply ignore it and continue with my “plan”
Since my intention was to go back to being HAPPY, I though it was wise to just the famous 15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy article.
As I was starring at the title, I said to myself: Listen up, and listen good! What I want you to do is this: read carefully what you wrote in here, identify the things you are holding on to like a wild beast, and find a way to give up on them. Give up and be happy, remember?… and that’s exactly what I did.
I started reading the whole thing with fresh eyes and it honestly felt like it was the first time I was reading it. At the end of it all, I was shocked to discover how out of all the 15 things that were on the list, I was holding on to 11 of them. Is that crazy or what?! No wonder I was miserable for so long.
So what were those 11 things?
1. The need for control
I was trying to control everything, what I was thinking, feeling… everything that was happening with me and around me.
2. The need to blame
All that time I was blaming outside forces for how drained, demotivated and unhappy I was feeling…
3. The need to use self defeating self talk
Let’s just say that most of the thoughts running through my mind during those two months weren’t too positive or empowering.
4. Limiting beliefs
Well, you can’t be happy all the time. You have “n” months of intense joy and happiness, now you have to experience “n” months of intense negativity and toxicity.
5. The need to complain
I won’t even go into details here, but yes, I was complaining, A LOT!
6. The need to criticise
Not only was I criticizing the things, people, events outside of me but also my own person. I can be my own best friend but also my worse enemy.
7. The resistance to change
I knew I had to change my thoughts, my mind and my behaviour in order to change my state of being but for some reason unknown to me, there was a lot of resistance on my part.
8. The need to use labels
Instead of focusing on the positive things I wanted to attract and feel, I began labeling myself as being sad, demotivated, cranky, mean, negative, etc..
Dwelling on the negative simply contributes to its power. ~Shirley MacLaine
I felt so much fear on those two months.
I felt this fear of not being able to go back to who I knew myself to be; fear of not being able to live a peaceful and positive life; fear of not being able to understand the meaning of all that was happening with me; fear of becoming a victim of my own self defeating thoughts… Living in fear was really disturbing.
10. The need to make up excuses
It’s incredible how many excuses you can come up with when you don’t feel like doing the things you know deep down inside you should be doing. But you know what? I had a good excuse: I was too tired, drained and demotivated.
After feeling down for so long, I realized how attached I was to my story of pain and struggle and how I was going around telling everybody how bad I was feeling.
We have met the enemy and it is us. – “Pogo comic strip”. Walt Kelly
After reading my own words, I literally had an epiphany and my feelings were a mix of frustration with excitement, anger and thankfulness. Even though my energy was still very low, I knew that I will be out of that state very soon.
In my next post I talk about HOW I managed to get myself out of all the toxicity and come back to feeling energized, peaceful, happy and content.
P.S. It all started on November 6th with Mercury retrograde.
How about you? Are you holding on to something you need to let go? Share your insights by commenting bellow or by posting your lovely comment on the PurposeFairy Facebook Page. And if you’ve enjoyed reading this post, feel free to share it with your loved ones.