Pleasing Others Vs. Pleasing Yourself

Pleasing Others Vs. Pleasing Yourself“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” Oscar Wilde

Pleasing your own self, is not about being selfish and egocentric, pleasing your own self consists in always doing those things that resonate with you, and always acting in accordance with your high values, your high standards and principles. It’s about being true to yourself, it’s about being you under all circumstances, no matter the time of day of year, no matter if you are in the presence of your mother, your boss, children, friends, or the queen of England.

In the whole world there isn’t a single person just like you, and that’s exactly what makes you so special, so unique and precious. Why want to be like somebody else, why try to be different than you really are? What if we all done that? What if we all acted as somebody else just to please one another, not realizing that, the moment we do that, not only we are cheating others, while at the same time others are trying to cheat us, but we are also cheating our own selves. Is that how little respect and appreciation you have for your own person? Would you say that’s a healthy way of living your life; would you say that’s O.K.?

Pleasing others. Well, we all know the meaning of these two precious words, don’t we? Who doesn’t want to please others, who doesn’t want to please EVERYBODY? There is nothing wrong in wanting to be liked, in wanting others to enjoy your presence, in wanting to please others, but when your main focus is just that, when your main concern is to constantly please others, even if that means not being true to yourself, even if that means betraying your own self, then you definitely need to start questioning your behavior.

Let me tell you a shocking truth. No matter how hard you’ll try and no matter how much time and energy you’ll invest in trying to be this and that, in trying to be liked by everybody, wearing all kind of different masks, none of them really yours, you will never be able to please everybody. Never! It’s impossible, it can’t be done, so STOP IT!

Embrace the real you, accept it, own it, love it. and you will be a lot happier, people around you will be a lot happier, and your life will get a lot easier and lighter.

Don’t compare yourself with others, don’t try to be different, don’t try to be something else just so you can fit in, just so you can be liked. Be yourself, and believe me when I say that, the moment you do just that, the moment you accept and see yourself for what you really are, people will like you more than they ever did, and you will get so much approval that you will get “tired” of it.

Be yourself, be YOU and know that the world needs more people who aren’t afraid to show their real selves, their real personalities, their light, and their beauty, because the moment you allow yourself to just be, the moment you willlet your own light shine, you will unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As you’re liberated from your own fear (of being you, fear of being judged, fear of not being accepted, loved, etc.) your presence will automatically liberate others.” ~ Marianne Williamson

With all my love,



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Luminita D. Saviuc

Luminita, the Founder of PurposeFairy, is an enthusiastic student of the arts, psychology, and spirituality. Her acclaimed blog post,15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy , was shared by over 1.3 million people on Facebook. Later on, it became the heart of her book, 15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy., book that was published by Penguin Random House.For more details check out the 15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy Book Page.

  1. Sami – I can feel by your post how much it means to you to find your true nature again and feel as though there is a natural balance between interacting with others and interacting with yourself. Meditation is great – I agree. I also think that guided exercises are fabulous for those of us who feel truly lost. Simple things like sitting down with a box of crayons and lots of blank paper and asking yourself – WHO AM I? And then drawing or writing whatever comes to mind. Sometimes with your dominant hand, sometimes with your non-dominant hand. Sometimes with your eyes open, sometimes with them closed. Make it a real spiritual practice and play meditation music and light candles and save 20 minutes a day for 7 days straight to ‘play’ in this way. Bit by bit you will find your light within. It is always there for you. Your true nature is not lost, it is inside of you patiently waiting for you to come play with it. Blessings!

  2. I sought professional help on how to stop doing things for others and pleasing them before myself. Now I am finding myself unhappy, emotional, and constantly doing tasks to occupy myself and time that I have no desire to even interact with others.

  3. So what if you dont know who you are anymore, because you have lived as this people pleaser so much that you’ve lost touch with you are. How do you regain your identity and start living as you? hope that makes sense 😉

    1. Sami, if you want to go back to being yourself and if you want to find what that means, it can be done. Do you meditate? meditation is a powerful tool that can help you to return to yourself and your real essence 🙂